"Sound of silver talk to me
Makes you want to feel like a teenager
Until you remember the feelings of
A real live emotional teenager
Then you think again"
I don't have children, partly because I remember what a nightmare of a child and adolescent I was - with those 'real live emotional teenager' issues.
Yet, I survived.
Talk to a lot of folks who are in that struggle - they are dealing with their adolescent kids, dealing with their own 'left-overs' of adolescence, or for some, just seem kind of energetically stalled there, even two decades later.
I get it - it's very real. And, it's very visceral...
it's also part of nature.
“Puberty is everyone’s first experience of a sentient madness.”
Adam Phillips, Psychoanalyst
What a trip! And, it's exactly what nature intended for us... it's just part of the brain chemistry and how we grow.
The prefrontal cortex has not yet finished developing in adolescents. It’s still adding myelin (the fatty white substance that speeds up and improves neural connections) and until those connections are consolidated--which most researchers now believe is sometime in our mid-twenties—the more primitive, emotional parts of the brain (known collectively as the limbic system) have a more significant influence.
As in 'animal, instinctual and reactive' influence - exactly the opposite of what most parents are hoping for at that time!
This explains why adolescents are such notoriously poor models of self-regulation, and why they’re so much more dramatic--
“more Kirk than Spock!”
Therefore, everything an adolescent does--everything an adolescent feels—is just a little bit more intense.
“And you never get back to that intensity,”
says BJ Casey, a neuroscientist at Weill Medical College of Cornell University.
Give thanks and praise, and enjoy!!