Blog Archives

How Do You Do That Which You "Don't Want" To Do?

30/4/2012

We're all there sometime - there is something that is called upon to do, words to be said, things to be done, news to be delivered, reality to face. And, it's quite uncomfortable, which is probably why so many retreat into their own constructions of 'righteousness' or 'fairness' or 'fuck 'em-ness'. Or, why many choose to move towards just numbing the experiences, just tuning right out, dropping right off.

When the time comes, and you know your situation, and your character demands what your ego doesn't want, what is that like? That's some yoga, right there... the superficial weaker mind trying to exercise whatever level of control it can over the higher purpose. The ego thinks 'why bother', or 'I'm right anyway' or all of those other myriad and tawdry ways we can convince ourselves that we should remain in passive aggressiveness or in victimhood or in superiority. And none of those have anything to do with engagement, with linking, or with higher purpose.

What's that fear - where does the anxiety come from? Is is palpable inside of you - can you feel it ,and if so, where are those feelings seated? Can you speak to those things? Can you begin to really explore the internal landscape of your emotions as well as your energetic being and can you be willing to do the dirty work? To witness, you at the times you'd rather not acknowledge?

Can you have basic love and compassion for yourself, while you 'understand' the reticence and the reality of the fear and emotion. Then will you also lovingly hold firm and accept nothing less than character, and growth and facing the limitations with equanimity and a desire to improve the situation?

What aren't you talking about that you should be? What apology do you owe, what clean up is there, and what are you going to do about it? I suggest not beating yourself up about it, but rather holding yourself in the space of compassion and care; release the grief, own the moments and move forward, with the best for all in mind.

Give thanks and praise, learn the lesson!

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Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology is Indistinguishable from Magic.

27/4/2012

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So says Arthur C Clarke, and I have to agree.

I'm of an era: there was this charming film, that really doesn't hold up to re-watching, so don't, but if you haven't seen it, do watch it and have a giggle. Anyway, The Gods Must Be Crazy... the premise of the film is that a bush pilot flying over the Kalahari drops out an empty Coke bottle. A Sho (one of those isolated bushmen who talk in the clicks and throat-noises languages) discovers this object that he saw fall from the sky - the Gods - and he now has the first piece of real technology.

It's one of the hardest things around, so it can crush. It can contain water (pretty sweet deal in the desert) - it's simply magic to them. Because they haven't encountered the technology before, it's sufficiently advanced. Because it's not mundane, it's supernatural. Because it carries all these traits, we can consider it magic.

Not Doug Henning (remember the goofy guy with the suspenders?), not David Copperfield or the modern conclusion of Criss Angel. Real magic, like a deeper knowledge or a higher purpose is being served. Not laying around on a bearskin rug having your paunchy belly oiled coven of shithead's magic. White wizard, white witch, taking what is, using natural sublime force and manifesting.

I offer to you - Yoga. It's startling simple yet mind-scramblingly complex; it's therapeutic and restorative and inspirational; it involves using vocalization at times to create space and experience. We use our hands in mudras like organic living wands. We create space where there was none, we slow down time, we tame that which is wild, we invigorate that which has diminished.

Be you, with you. That is the practice and I suggest, the Magic. You, done for you, by you, in you. You are the alchemist, the White Witch, Wizard or Warlock, the one who comes to the experience with the desire to know self, and to refine experience. Of course, do no harm, first to self, then to all, then to both because they are same.

Give thanks and praise.

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The Day After Tomorrow is the Third Day of the Rest of Your Life.

26/4/2012

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I'm pretty sure George Carlin takes the credit on that one; school me if I err!

It's about taking your time, being present, being in the moments, not only watching them happen and participating in the continuous manifestation, but also to begin to craft our way as co-creators. Where we actually guide and facilitate the manifestations that will serve.

Crazy, metaphysical, energetic, spiritual, intangible... those words often get used dismissively, and so we either 'don't go there', or we don't speak about them, or even allow our own instincts and inherent knowledge to become questionable.

But, I suggest to you, we are all making it up as we go along. And, we haven't had many great role models, or inspiring moments to uplift us. Rather, there is a tendency towards somnambulism and disconnection and nullification of thought through constant distraction and reinforced emptiness and need. It's rather shocking and depressing, or else it's a call to action and purpose.

Start really engaging. Start learning how to think rather than believe. Create experience to inform you, not theories. Participate in beneficial things, observe neutral things, oppose and decry malignant things. Not in hatred, just in being able to offer new ways of being.

We have to transform how people relate, how people interact around goods and services and value; how people are taken care of and how resources are taken care of. Proportionality - not socialism, but some kind of universally consistent and considerate standards that speak to how we exist in this finite world of resources, by tapping into our infinite pool of intelligence, creativity and love.

Big stuff, start small. Get nicer, to you, to your primary relationships, to those who oppose and drag you down, observe but don't participate. Make something greater, share something that you have, give freely and believe in abundance. I truly believe that the majority of folks who do hold the physical wealth in our world have such an impoverished mindset that they have disrupted the natural flow of energy, resources and care.

Let it go, let it flow, put your resources and your finances into growing, considerate and sustainable works; put your personal energy into making one little difference after another.

And, give thanks and praise.

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Don't Congratulate - And Don't Hate...

25/4/2012

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You know me, the two choices - expand or contract, love or fear, truth or sham... well, I'm a fan of being real, and keeping it real with myself, too.

Got a lot of positive support - thanks and praise. It is priceless and I thank you. I hope I've earned the care and respect I'm being afforded, and I hope to be back with y'all in the practice quite soon.

But first, a little of my own cleanup. Part of the reason for my transition from what I was doing to what I want to do was to follow my truth, not my ego, not my desire for what I believed would happen, but rather for what I can create myself. I'm happy with that, I'm proud of being truthful enough with myself to make positive change.

And, making that change and getting the support of others ennobles me and helps me feel empowered to pursue those truths - to see what will develop.

However, even positive attributes like Truth can be mis-used and abused. With almost every emotion, action, or even physical item we encounter, we can choose to use them correctly or incorrectly - as a tool or a weapon.

I was too brutally honest, to proud of my honesty. I used honesty and truth to hurt others and for that I admit my failings. The outcome doesn't bother me, that was natural. But, I'm not an 'ends' person, I like to live in the 'means', so to coin a phrase, my means were mean.

Kinda shitty, I'll own it and the detriment it caused. I'm not saying what I said isn't true, it just probably didn't need to be said. A good lesson. So, not a saint, and yes a sinner, and just like many of you, making my way through the world.

I'm right where I need to be. I will apologize for using facts to hurt others, I will sit in study of myself and get those triggers identified, so I can use truth to support and uplift. It's not my role to be righteous, but rather to move on and just get right with me.

Not trying to be cryptic, I'm happy to share in person more if this intrigues you, but this is not about the 'story' or the 'drama', but rather, the 'author' and what he has learned.

Thanks and praise, for letting me learn and live. Apologies if my use of the truth hurt any of you all. Let's move on and co-create a new way of relating that isn't so much about proving who is right, but lifting the whole community.

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Two SImple Choices – We’re Choosing One or the Other in Every Moment…

24/4/2012

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Love - sure, talk about it, love things and people, wanna be loved, be in love with love.

Fear - be afraid, be timid and over-cautious and hypersensitive and scared and withdrawn.

And I posit, that's it. I've written much of this post before, but it's a message for our times, and right now, I'm consciously expanding into love, and working on remembering that right when things feel fearful, I can withdraw or just dive in! So, let's swim!

I say there are really only two choices - expand into love, into the challenge, into the opportunity, into the grace or contract into fear, into isolation, into limitedness.

It is the trajectory of our lives and our birthright to grow, to expand, to define and refine. Often the choices we make will create ripples we may never even be aware of. At the best of times, we are at our best; at the worst, often we struggle to rise above.

This practice teaches us, if we allow ourselves to receive it, surrender and supplication. While it ennobles our discipline, it also show us that the soft always overcomes the hard – the roundest drop of softest water will wear away the toughest block of granite, given its three warriors, time, patience and perseverance.

So, when we harden, when we stiffen and draw back, we feel the contraction and become defensive, closed, guarded… how often can we recognize this and move ourselves outward into connectivity, empathy, compassion, consideration or simply acceptance of what is? You know, the soft always overcomes the hard, just like I've said previously.

This consciousness finds methods, perspectives, validations and reassurances as we literally re-wire our nervous system. It takes time, it takes a practice, it takes the dedication to stabilize the metabolism and nourish the system, both physically, spiritually or energetically and emotionally. So why be around pollution?

Perhaps this is the greatest yoga we can challenge ourselves with – not caturanga, not astavakrasana, not a 90-day meditation, but rather, to love – fully, in the face of hate, in the times where it seems impossible, ‘til it hurts, when it’s all you got and even when it feels gone – love is limitless, you can always create more from the prana in the next breath.

So, yogis, I bid ye – here is your mission. Be nice, nicer than is reasonable, with love and care and compassion. Not for your loved one, not your friends, but the person you work with you like least (why?) and the person who you meet next that pushes those buttons – love them for being your Teacher.

And while you are at it, how about you start at home, and love yourself, fiercely, first.

Give thanks and praise – expand into love.

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It's the End of the World (As We Know It) and That Feels Just Fine...

23/4/2012

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Maybe you've see the e-card going around on Facebook: "Dick Clark died during the year we aren't going to have a New Years; well played Mayans, well played..."

Indeed, even poor John Cusack had to show us the way, Emmerich-style. What's it all about, ole 2012? Is this it? Are we going down? Apocalypse and doom? Or is that just what titillates and sells?

Have we perhaps missed the message. Is it "STOP" or might it just be "RESET" when the calendar rolls over to 12-21-2012?

I guess we'll see, but I keep sensing that there is a lesson in transcendence, not a punishment or finality coming. It's oft quoted from Tantra, the expression that "something must die in order for something else to be born."And, so, perhaps that is where we are at.

This has been a really interesting year, for me, and for a lot of my friends. I suppose, kinda like the way we reckon decades, when I say this year, I mean from September of last to present. Change, dishevel, confrontation, futility turning not into more determination but surrender, and a desire to shake off what has been. I see this time as a metamorphic time, not a final time.

Liken it to a transit station on a long travel. Travel is great, but it's arduous, it's confrontational, it's often times a little scary having to navigate or communicate to others who don't share your words. We see things, even our most mundane daily actions, differently when we know we are on a trip.

Right now, we're on a trip. However, the old world conveyance that we've been accustomed to and reliant on just isn't going to get us where we need to go. Do you sense that, spinning your wheels, running miles and gaining inches? Do you really want to hang onto that feeling? Don't you have that deep suspicion that things really could, and must be, much better, much different, maybe even more 'evolved' than they are?

If this is working for you, then sit tight. I don't doubt there are a lot of folks who don't want to think about it, or take responsibility for figuring out where they are or where they're going. Perhaps the better question is 'how is it going?' and from there, how can we co-create a better way. But, that takes 'getting on the bus!'

Now, on this trip, this year, we've hit the border; these are also weird places. Perhaps for many of you, you're accustomed to an easy border crossing or haven't had the experience. I've been blessed and travelled early, and wide; maybe I've been incautious, but I've also travelled in places where conflicts, wars and the occasional terrorist act was perpetrated.

When I was 15, I was in a mini van traveling through the Sinai from Israel to Egypt. This was just few months after Carter got Begin and Sadat to sign the accord. Tension, conflict and a tenuous new found peace were palpable. We drove for 14 hours, with a check point at the old battle front of the Israeli-Egyptian war. That's where they settled the border, so they just dumped us out in what could've been a refugee camp, 110+, no shade and about 600 people waiting to file through a tin shack. Armed Soldiers - the kind that actually had been in combat in the past year, bored and pissed, and then literally hundreds of miles of desert on each side of a barbed wire fence.

That was not comfortable, or pleasant, or easy - and it felt at times completely threatening and out of control. I was with my mother, sister and aunt, and it was quite unpleasant for them to be Anglo-American women in this environment, with the Soldier and the other travelers, mostly dis-enfranchised bedouins who really didn't understand how the desert got cut into two halves. Absolute lack of options pretty much forced surrender to the situation, and I live to tell the tale.

I'm working this up, because I think we've now, collectively as a conscious species, hit that border. We're a little stalled, we're uncomfortable and we don't know how to just get to the other side.

My guess is this - the other side requires a new kind of traveller. That traveller will be taking a new kind of conveyance that transcends the prior. And at this checkpoint, at this border, as we sit in this waiting area, waiting for them to call out "General Boarding for the New Era, Flight 2013, now boarding", we've got to be that traveller.

Travel light, don't think twice, we're leaving the shadows behind. And to complete the analogy... stop packing your bags. There isn't room for your baggage. Everything you want to pack and hold is a piece of that former land and time, and binds you to it. You wanna take this trip, and sit in first class... drop your baggage, even the carry on. Get full-empty and you might get fulfilled.

Are we dying? Of course! Hopefully slowly and elegantly - but we are. Is the world gonna end at the Winter Solstice - really, who knows!? But, I suspect not. I think for many of us who are waking up, if we don't do the work of unpacking our bags and getting ready to board, that we won't go anywhere, we'll miss the trip, we won't get to the promised land.

If we can learn from the caterpillar, who may not even have a clue that the butterfly is inside, but who responds to the call to lose the first identity to create the next, more beautiful, more mobile form, then we are served. There is a time in the chrysalis that must feel so tight, so restrictive, so final - but that is where surrender and patience yield the transformation.

Give thanks and praise, keep unpacking and dropping your baggage. When you get uncomfortable, know that is the barometer for change and growth and joy!

Take the trip - give thanks and praise, let's see what happens!

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The Soft Always Overcomes the Hard.

22/4/2012

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Working to stay present to that aphorism; it's one I share, quote, believe in and must return to, over and over.

I don't care how 'clean' you are, how impeccable your words and deeds are, and how noble your intent - we all find ourselves at times in conflict, in confrontation. For many of us, we get triggered and essentially are just 'fighting the same fight' with different scenes and actors. For example, are we really reacting to the issue at hand, or are we, as I like to call it - time-travelling? Reflecting back to the last, the previous, all of or the first time we were in that particular conflict.

You might have grown up in an unemotional and disconnected family and by nature, seek deep connection and validation. You may have experienced abandonment, and carry that forward into mistrust, suspicion, or keeping folks at a distance so no one can get close. We all carry the past within us; it's important to know when it's the past influencing the present, and to engage with the 'false evidence' that emerges when we are triggered.

I'm making a transition, from something to something else. In Tantra, one would say I'm bringing the death of one thing to create space for a new birth. And, I'm sure there are moments when the caterpillar appears to be dying to the uninformed, the chrysalis develops and then from that seeming death, really, just metamorphosis. New life, transformed from old.

While this gently scares me, and it should, I realize that it also really confronts and scares more than a few of those around me, as well. That's fascinating, but I've now come to discern that perhaps a simple act of courage is terrifying to those who dwell in their own insecurity or fear, or other limiting emotions. That an act of positive transformation is confrontational to those who seek to hold, to control, or to ignore; there's always space for them to make those changes themselves, but it hasn't happened yet.

So, I'm experiencing some really interesting push back and some straight up nastiness and confrontation. I check myself, it feels hurtful, stupid and out of integrity (that's my perception, I can't state the intention, just how it feels) but that doesn't give me permission to meet that energy with the same. So, I'm committed to the lessons, and to the experience that Spirit is providing and the deep personal growth that I can draw from this. This is my work, in reflection of others choices, I must do what I must do, and be the best me, each day, every day.

Therefore, when people and situations get tough, and harden up - what's your instinct? To dig in, hold your ground, fight back, be righteous, use your indignation to claim truth? Or, can you learn from nature and from our practice. There is no gritting through it and pushing past it that is sustainable in the asana practice. Nor is there in life. As I've shared before, two choices - expand into love or contract into fear.

"The softest drop of water wears away the hardest block of granite - it has but two warriors; time and patience."

"The strong, solid, majestic Oak falls in one strike of lightning; the fluid supple Willow survives all storms."

How does it work for you; do you see where you harden up and where you can get soft - either in your asana practice, or as a result of doing that exploration on the mat, can you do it in your life? Can you meet that rigidity with new flexibility?

And, even more pertinent - can you find compassion and some level of human love for those who Spirit brings in your path, who are acting from their own hurt, poverty, disillusionment and pain? Not accept the treatment, not tolerate the bullshit, but still just love them for doing what they can do with what they've got??

And then, leave them to their work - it's theirs, not yours! Thank them for being for teacher, then graduate!!

Give thanks and praise, expand into love!

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4:20, Wheel - Cakra, The Dead and Inclusivity.

20/4/2012

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Wrote a great post earlier, while I was in the cellphone lot at ABIA waiting on Sadie; however, don't you love that the airport zone defeats 3G service, and makes you subscribe to their crap-ass wifi? Took the 30 free minute trial, apparently wrote for 31, and lost it.

So, a quick summary of my former rant - It's 4:20 today, most folks that are looking to honor the day as a celebration are about getting high as hell - why wouldn't that be high as heaven?? Built-in shame??

I spent years living on Dead tour, in my noble Subaru wagon sleeping in the back until she crystalized at 148K miles, then in either my VW Bus ('71 Westphalia, with a '70 Super Beetle engine) or other friends VWs as we wandered coast to coast following the boys. It was a blast, a four to five year run where we spent our spare time making shirts, then going on tour and supporting ourselves by selling them.

I learned a lot on tour - cooperation, business sense, collaboration, community, resourcefulness, independence, interdependence, how to change a VW engine, that you can pay for hot showers at KOAs, and that you can still find joy, optimism and camaraderie in the hearts of fellows. It was a vibrant community, a tribe. And for all the shows I didn't get in, many I did, and some for free. I wore a skirt and danced and was a basic freak - and, I spent years not talking about it, when I 'got over it'.

Ever had that thing, where there was something you really loved, and then dedicated yourself to? Then, sometime, somewhere, it wasn't hip or cool or acceptable, or you grew up, or moved on? I kinda left the Dead for dead, stopped playing shows, didn't wear my tie-dyes and 'moved on'.

Great part of iTunes is shuffle - it makes you remember all of those choices. And, iTunes DJ or simply shuffle is where I start most of my playlists. Sometimes, for fun, I search one word in the library; e.g. flow, shine, move, etc. Then, I see what comes up, and build a list on that. Just fun. So, last night, in honor of 4:20, I thought I'd spin on "stone". Well, after factoring out 100s for the Rolling Stones, there just wasn't enough to really factor into a sweet mix.

Pondering the issue, I thought, what was getting high as heaven and stoned as hell about, and I thought of the boys, Good Ole Grateful Dead. Poor students, there were some who were home, maybe for the first time in years. There were a few who had made it thus far in life without knowing the sound; well, I screwed that up for them!

3 songs, 75 minutes, couldn't even offer the 'don't like the song, give it 5 minutes it'll change' option! But flow and expand, and groove and maybe space out a little, they did. It was the right music at the right time - alternately annoying and falling apart - Dark Star crashed up in there.... Terrapin provided some symphonic and narrative charm; Good Mornin' Little Schoolgirl is just down and dirty and deep.

So, props to the rockstars, and props to who you were, which made you all of who you are. Give thanks and praise for your embarrassing moments, bad haircuts, questionable high-school fashion choices, whatever! It made you you, and that must be celebrated. So, thanks to the Dead, and getting me high as heaven, so I could get here. While it didn't make today's playlist, let me finish with some words that still resonate with me, one of my favorites from the shows:

"Small wheel turn by the fire and rod,
Big wheel turn by the Grace of God,
Every time that wheel turns 'round,
You're bound to cover just a little more ground,
Bound to cover just a little more ground.
Wheel is turning and you can't slow down,
You can't let go and can't hold on,
Can't go back and you can't stand still,
If the thunder don't get you,
The lightning will!"

Give thanks and praise, and include all of yourself, your experiences, and your history to serve you!

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Root to Rise!

19/4/2012

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Just been getting excited to see my sweet friend, Sadie Nardini - coming into town this weekend for an excellent series of workshops!! I'm pleased to have gotten to know this excellent teacher and had some fun with her, so I'm looking forward not only to study with this treasure, but to tear up the town a little as well... might just get hopping crazy around here!

If you haven't ever experienced Sadie, you should, and it's easy - she's all over YouTube, Social Media, and she's got a TV show in the works. Of course, you may know her as a Rockstar; and so from one Rockstar to all of y'all in the constellations, she shines, she rocks, she's sunshine and stardust!

One of the things I most love and respect about Sadie is that she keeps it real, integrated, safe and a screaming good sweaty ole vinyasa flow at the same time. I'm inspired by this, it's my intention - all the good times of vinyasa, but with sustainability at the forefront, intention, not momentum; engagement before expression! She's studied long term with Leslie Kaminoff, another of my favorites, so her anatomy and explanation of the engagement of the deeper core muscles is excellent.

And, she breaks it down so wonderfully simply - press down, root, create foundation... then, move to activation and engagement of foundation into core... only then, move into expression in the asana.

Give it a try sometime... next time you're coming into Virabhadrasana (Warrior I) from down dog, exhale the knee towards the third eye, rounding the spine and engaging the core. Place the foot down at the base of the exhale, inhale and lengthen the back leg and lift the upper body away from the thigh, staying with hands down. Then, exhaling keep the alignment and foundation as you fully engage the core and support the sacrum and lumbar area. Then, use the integrated engaged core to lift the arms into the full expression.

Wow, I talk that stuff everyday, it's a little hard to write it, but easier to do it than read it!! Just give an extra breath in the low lunge, activate the core and elongate, and then rise up into expression! Root to rise. Works wonders in Bakasana, all arm balances, and if you ever wanna do handstand!

So, check it out , on line for some tips, and then in your practice - or come play this weekend. However much you can firm your foundation is how deep you can take the expression, consider it and give thanks and praise!

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Personal Archaeology - Can You Dig It?

18/4/2012

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True confession - took literally hundreds and hundreds of hours of college credits; heck I think I attended seven different institutions and iterations of 'higher education'. Still don't have a degree, which boils down to my reluctance to complete TX HIstory and TX Government, but that is an entire other story... I digress.

My checkered academic past went all over, from Environmental Studies, to Business and Merchandising, to Anthropology, to Linguistics and into Middle Eastern Studies. So, I've taken a lot of cultural and physical anthropology classes in my time (good prep work for anatomy studies!), and of course, archaeology.

And, I'm a traveller, and a student of history and cultures, so I've been on and to digs, and sites, and works. It's fascinating, and it's a piece of the ribbon of continuity of our species - to dig into the Earth to uncover them, and in doing so, of course, learn about ourselves.

So, I'm offering it to you, like this - when the archaeologist wants to understand the present, he seeks the past, in study. He chooses a site, and very painstakingly and deliberately, plots the earth, and goes to work. The work is tedious, and gentle, and mindful. It involves removing an enormous amount of 'overburden', but not in the grossest means possible; rather, the most subtle.

The tools of the trade are small trowels and hand shovels and dental picks and micro-brushes. They work, days on end, knowing something lies below, but watching every single layer of accumulated history be peeled, gently away. The layers in the earth tell the tales: ash from wildfires, consistently shaped rubble from prior foundations, even the over-abundance of pollen in a blooming year may be captured and held. The archaeologist doesn't miss these clues, these pieces, these evolutions, as time literally accumulates history vertically.

And, if you've ever seen a site, the 'best' we see is when the history was calamitous - horrible, tragic endings usually preserve history (retain their impression) the best. Pompeii, for example. That may be how it is with us. As we dig into ourselves, if we don't take the time, go slowly, peel away and mindfully examine the layers, what are we missing? Can we stay mindful enough to dig deep, but carefully? To watch, every turn of the trowel, ever sweep of the brush?

To bring it to close, I'll also tell you, aside from cataclysm, the other most fertile ground in archeological history is the trash heaps. Yup, the refuse piles - you can see what they ate, what they consumed, the shards of their pottery, the casting off of the unwanted parts of the diet, all of the tales are told in our trash, in our shit. Unpleasant, surely. But fertile for understanding, for getting down to the matter, and for digging in deep. What lies in you, discarded and buried? What tale would it tell if you so carefully and mindfully excavated it?

Dig it? Give thanks and praise!

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<<Previous

How Do You Do That Which You "Don't Want" To Do?

Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology is Indistinguishable from Magic.

The Day After Tomorrow is the Third Day of the Rest of Your Life.

Don't Congratulate - And Don't Hate...

Two SImple Choices – We’re Choosing One or the Other in Every Moment…

It's the End of the World (As We Know It) and That Feels Just Fine...

The Soft Always Overcomes the Hard.

4:20, Wheel - Cakra, The Dead and Inclusivity.

Root to Rise!

Personal Archaeology - Can You Dig It?

Chrispy - Bhagat Singh

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RockStarYoga
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petrastella
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rockstar@rockstaryoga.us