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How Do You Do That Which You "Don't Want" To Do?

30/4/2012

1 Comment

 
We're all there sometime - there is something that is called upon to do, words to be said, things to be done, news to be delivered, reality to face. And, it's quite uncomfortable, which is probably why so many retreat into their own constructions of 'righteousness' or 'fairness' or 'fuck 'em-ness'. Or, why many choose to move towards just numbing the experiences, just tuning right out, dropping right off.

When the time comes, and you know your situation, and your character demands what your ego doesn't want, what is that like? That's some yoga, right there... the superficial weaker mind trying to exercise whatever level of control it can over the higher purpose. The ego thinks 'why bother', or 'I'm right anyway' or all of those other myriad and tawdry ways we can convince ourselves that we should remain in passive aggressiveness or in victimhood or in superiority. And none of those have anything to do with engagement, with linking, or with higher purpose.

What's that fear - where does the anxiety come from? Is is palpable inside of you - can you feel it ,and if so, where are those feelings seated? Can you speak to those things? Can you begin to really explore the internal landscape of your emotions as well as your energetic being and can you be willing to do the dirty work? To witness, you at the times you'd rather not acknowledge?

Can you  have basic love and compassion for yourself, while you 'understand' the reticence and the reality of the fear and emotion. Then will you also lovingly hold firm and accept nothing less than character, and growth and facing the limitations with equanimity and a desire to improve the situation?

What aren't you talking about that you should be? What apology do you owe, what clean up is there, and what are you going to do about it? I suggest not beating yourself up about it, but rather holding yourself in the space of compassion and care; release the grief, own the moments and move forward, with the best for all in mind.

Give thanks and praise, learn the lesson!
1 Comment
Jack
30/4/2012 03:47:39 am

Funny you write this today, I was up and at'em early at the Drivers License place at 7:30am standing in line outside waiting for the doors to open at 8am. A few people were in front of me and a few behind me. A few minutes before 8am, up walks this woman who doesn't queue up, but stands directly to my side a few feet away. You could tell she was uncomfortable for some reason. My ego was saying, "ain't no way she is stepping in front of me in line, I got here before she did, blah, blah, blah. My character on the other hand, asked her politely if she would like to go ahead of me as the employees opened the front door, she looked shocked and said that she will wait until the end of the line comes, but I insisted and she accepted. What was I to gain being mad, I was actually out of there before she was. I feel better giving kindness, than being rude, letting my character guide me, rather than ego.

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