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Study - Step 10 to Happiness.

30/11/2012

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Study - well, if that doesn't sound ominous, odious, and dreary... Not so, not so - in reality, I'm talking about 'study' as when we find a 'yoga' with something. For instance, when we find an activity or pursuit that really engages and delights us, it's no burden at all to get into it and study up and learn more about it. We seek out those others that are 'good' at it or can help us; we might read up, ask around or work on improving skills. All of this, I suggest, is study.

Study, like watch a flower bloom. Study, like read about a passion. Study, as in observe yourself and your behaviors to learn more about your own subconscious and how that might alter your perceptions. Dive deep, go into something wholeheartedly, devote time and attention. There are so many ways to study.

In the 8 limbs of yoga, we are told that Svadhyaya - study - is one of the imperatives. While there are many ways to translate or interpret the meaning of 'study' in this word, it's most often considered that studying sacred texts will help us study ourselves, as all is allegorical, metaphorical and simply about the true nature of consciousness. By broadening our perspective, we can begin to see the unity.
“It is useful to study different traditions in order to be free of attachment to any one way of expressing what is beyond expression.”
― Ravi Ravindra, The Wisdom of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras: A New Translation and Guide by Ravi Ravindra
Svādhyāya is one of the three key elements in the Kriya (practice, technique) of Yogah (yoga) as defined in the Yoga Sutras. In fact, it opens the second chapter and then later Patanjali mentions Svādhyāya a second time as one of the five Niyamas (observances), along with Sauca (purity), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (zeal, austerity), and Ishvari-Pranadhana (surrender).

I love Sutra 2.1 - I use it on my bio page, because to me, it defines the practice - not of asana, but of yoga. And, while I'm not recovering, it's a basically the Serenity Prayer -
tapah svadhyaya ishvara-pranidhana kriya-yogah (PYS 2:1)

let me have 'Tapah' (the creative force to make change), the Ishavari-Pranadhana (the ability to surrender to that which is greater) and the Svadhyaya (the wisdom to know the difference, what is called for)... this is the Kriya (practice) of Yoga.

I'm not suggesting you have to dive into the Sutras, read the Gita, go back to the Bible, or any sacred text. You could study yourself with Thoreau, with Schopenhauer, with Neitzche, with Shakespeare, with David Sedaris. Really, you can study through reading, or through experience.

I've spent a lot of time reading sacred texts, from all cultures. I'm emboldened by the original purity of the intention and message and how universal they are; I am dismayed by how much culture and time and imposition was added to the those texts and now they have been perverted through poor usage and other agendas. I thought the following quote was right on track...
“Spiritual literature can be a great aid to an aspirant, or it can be a terrible hindrance. If it is used to inspire practice, motivate compassion, and nourish devotion, it serves a very valuable purpose.

If scriptural study is used for mere intellectual understanding, for pride of accomplishment, or as a substitute for actual practice, then one is taking in too much mental food, which is sure to result in intellectual indigestion.”
― Prem Prakash, The Yoga of Spiritual Devotion A Modern Translation of the Narada Bhakti Sutras

This is why I prefer and suggest the study be experiential... that the classroom be the Self, that the Teacher or object of our study is the yoga or the mindfulness or the seva or whatever brings you into relationship with self and Self. Perhaps if you re-appropriated the word "study" out of the academic world, out of tests and proficiencies and all-nighters and simple regurgitation of facts, we could thrive in learning.

I like language, so let me end on that note - study, the etymology. If you trace most language groups back, they got to a common ancestor that is called P.I.E., or Proto-Indo European. This is the 'base language' for hundreds of language groups, which include Sanskrit and Latin and Greek. So, that's why we see cognates in Sanskrit to English. Sukha - Sucrose. Pada - Pedestrian, Podiatrist. Mukha - Mug as in Mugshot...

So, "study" comes down from a PIE root *(s)teu-  which means "to push, stick, knock, beat". As it arrived into the Latin, it took on the connotation of "being diligent, moving forward, applying attention". By the 1300s, CE, it had the specific meaning of "application of the mind to the acquisition of knowledge".

But just keep it simple - push for it, stick to it, knock the disinformation and your preconceptions out of the way, beat aside falseness and even the temptation to take easy answers over truthful ones. Be diligent, move forward, apply attention. Apply your mind and efforts towards the acquisition of knowledge, and then thrive through that wisdom.

And, if you do all of that on a skateboard, or on the XBox, or by collecting Star Wars figures, then dive in, go deep, learn more. Study, be a student, learn to love learning and you will learn love and happiness.

Be well, give thanks and praise - last day here in Dallas assisting my fabulous teacher and mentor and friend, Seane.

Looking forward to getting back to the ATX and a fun weekend. Next installment coming up is, Step 11 - Aspire to Inspire!
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Serve and Help - Step 9 to Happiness.

27/11/2012

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Seva - that is the word we use from the Sanskrit, for selfless service. Service that is offered in the sense that any improvement that can be made for any one person improves every person's experience.

What makes Seva 'selfless' is that the work is done for the action, for the intention, but not for a specific or even general reward. However, that is true and yet untrue. For if you ask anyone who has spent time in service to others, who has selflessly given in order to assist and elevate others, that even without the desire for it, there is great happiness in giving of ourselves.
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.
Rabindranath Tagore
That get's kinda out there and noble, but it really hit home for me this past few months. As you might know, I've spent the majority of this year working to raise awareness and funds in a Global Seva Challenge - one that is aimed at assisting those who have been liberated from sexual slavery.

Well, it's been a great ride, and I've learned a lot. I've done personal fundraising, I've solicited friends, former colleagues and co-workers, associates and strangers. I've taught numerous workshops, public classes and private sessions where all the proceeds benefited the challenge. And, I spent months collaborating on and co-creating GaneshFest, a yoga a music community festival.

Then, about 6 weeks ago, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to achieve the goal I had set - in order to be personally involved in my chosen Seva, I needed to have raised $20,000 by my own and collective actions. I'm proud of the funds I've raised, but I had to admit, the goal was not going to be achieved. I was pretty despondent, with weird feelings like I had failed at something I cared about, that I had let folks down, that I wasn't a person who could manifest and create, etc.

Luckily, my community includes a lot of folks who have done this work and are doing it now... a good few of them reached out to me to check in. One of them - thanks and praise - said to me, and I paraphrase: "are you doing this to help get little girls out of sexual slavery, or are you doing this to be able to say you did it, and go on the trip with Seane (our teacher)?"

BAM! - that's a friend, and that was the question I needed to ponder, to take into my practice and to be mindful on. So, I spent some time with it, and now I have to say, while I would love to be joining those lovely folks and passionate leaders in Seva in India next year, I have done my Seva. And, it only, truly becomes my Seva when I release from the goal of 'achieving' it and move into the space of doing it. For them, not for my ego, not for my identity.

"Living creatures are nourished by food, and food is nourished by rain; rain itself is the water of life, which comes from selfless worship and service."
- Bhagavad Gita, 3.14

I'm really happy to be able to serve, and to be in service to that which I see elevates and illuminates. And, as I write this today, I'm in Dallas, serving and assisting my Teacher, Seane Corn as she leads a Teacher Training. I was also privileged to travel to three of the Wanderlust Festivals over this past summer, and also assisted Seane in her classes there.

There is something really powerful about being in the practice --- not taking the practice and not leading the practice --- witnessing both of those elements and the energetic exchange. The assists I like to focus on are to really ground folks into the physical experience, and of course to assist with alignment and to deepen expression where appropriate. Sometimes the assists I give are to just stand by and breathe with them as they hang for those last few cycles in a tough posture, or just an affirming hand in child's pose.

It's been one of the sweetest experiences for me yet, in my teaching. To find the space between teacher and student and to find how to best serve each. It's an honor to witness the teachings and how they can create sacred space, and how that space allows for incredible personal transformation. It's brought me an enormous amount of fulfillment and happiness.

Where are you finding yours? What can you do for others? What are you good at that can benefit someone else? Are you willing to give, without expecting something in return? And, are you willing to give selflessly, when no one is looking and when no one will say 'thank you'?

Look around you, we can all use a helping hand. This is the season where an old coat that you haven't worn would go a long way for someone who is cold. Where those cans of food that make you feel comfortable in your full pantry could translate into a meal for someone who simply wants to feel full. Make a small action, build on it, look for your way to contribute and give.

And, give thanks and praise! Next Step, #10 - Study!! Don't worry, it's not as ominous as it sounds!
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Sit - Step 8 to Happiness.

25/11/2012

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Mindfulness. Sitting with you, by yourself, being you and watching the drama of you being you. It can be tough, it can be sweet, it can literally save your life.

And, anything that eases the burdens, reduces the stresses, sweetens the ride and gives us time to enjoy and thrive is bound to be a happiness creator. I put mindfulness as tool number one on that list.

What do I mean, more specifically, by mindfulness? Some folks prefer to use the words 'meditation' or 'centering', for some folks it may even be 'prayer', 'contemplation' or 'sadhana'. I mean, simply and directly, creating an intentional time away from activity and interaction with the purpose of sitting still, in purposeful observance of the mind.

You may choose to add observance of the breath, or to add a mantra, or to add an object or image of devotion. The idea is to 'concentrate' in the most classic sense of the world. To come back together towards the center... to reduce our circles of concern and thought back down, like an onion being peeled one layer at a time, until we come to the core, the essence, the seed.

It's a practice, and yes, it can be frustrating. I think as many folks have told me they can't practice mindfulness because they say 'my mind won't ever shut up, how am I supposed to sit and be still!" as tell me they can't do yoga because "I can't touch my toes!". It's a practice... I couldn't speak any language until I was able to walk around as a toddler being unintelligible making noises for a couple years. Miracle of miracles, I ended up speaking (and reading and writing, English!) You practice, you learn; you don't, you don't.

The brain, the mind, your consciousness, your mental condition - whatever you identify with, you are able to work on it, refine it, train it, strengthen it and improve it. Neuroscience has come a long way, and we now know that neuro-plasticity extends through your entire life. You can make this happen, you start with five minutes a day, feeling like a failure because 'the committee in your head is just outraged and out of order!' Persevere, keep at it, chuckle at your own foibles at it... then, maybe you go up to 10 minutes after a week, and you keep doing it.

Practicing mindfulness will increase your energy and your strength. Since stress has so many profoundly negative and taxing effects on us both mentally and physically, when we use mindfulness to eliminate or better control stress, we reclaim more energy. We may think and act more purposefully because our minds aren't weighed down with problems, and have more endurance, because of the reduction of stress on your immune system, which positively affects everything else.

Mindfulness helps to keep you in a positive frame of mind, by actively increasing the levels of serotonin produced in the brain. This benefits of heightened levels of serotonin work to alleviate headaches, tension, depression, as well as providing an elevated sense of well-being.

It has been shown that with regularly practiced mindfulness, blood pressure can be regulated. While this is due largely to the overall reduction of stress, there is also an impact on how blood circulates and how the blood vessels respond and react in a positive way.

Mindfulness creates better ability for focus, and heightened memory function. This leads to the mind 'feeling stronger, more resilient and better able to handle the trials and tribulations of everyday life'. This then leads to greater states of contentment, the ability to seek and pursue fulfilling actions and choices, and the willingness to trust and take risks.

Mindfulness helps you to get out of the details and see the bigger picture; we are able to see things much more clearly. Irrespective of what plagues us, what problems we may have, when we just sit and take the time to observe the action of being, it all becomes just a little less personal, a little less tragic, a little less dramatic... we may even discover solutions for those problems simply by clearing our mind of the repetitive chatter. Then, we become able to take action to clear away the problems and address the issues.

Strong intuition is key to finding a connection to our inner Self. Through harnessing intuition we can preserve the well being of our bodies and minds. To achieve that, we must develop practices which bolster our intuition. A prime method for developing and harnessing good intuition is through mindfulness, which helps you observe your thoughts and feelings in order to have true discernment. It also provides the tranquility to fully follow, understand and embrace our highest purpose, our truest nature, and therein, to find happiness.

Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin, has led experiments in cooperation with the Dalai Lama on effects of meditation and mindfulness on the brain. His results suggest that long-term, or short-term practice of mindfulness meditation results in different levels of activity in brain regions associated with such qualities as attention, anxiety, depression, fear, anger, the ability of the body to heal itself, and so on. These functional changes may be caused by changes in the physical structure of the brain.

There, so in addition to all of that above, we've got proven tool for weight loss, we hit blood pressure already, it's a mental acuity strengthener, and it's been proven to reduce heart disease. It'll make you smarter, a more empathetic and emotionally intelligent person, and overall, increase your ability to sustain periods of contentment and happiness.

All of that is excellent, but the highlight for me is this. Studies show, people who start out the day with fifteen to thirty minutes of mindfulness statistically have a better, happier day. They handle anything that comes up with ease, with no stress --- or at the very least, minimal short term stress --- they move easily from task to task, with complete focus.

Simply put, mindfulness helps us be happier. We all have a set point of happiness in our lives, like the optimum temperature on a thermostat. The environment makes us feel ourselves higher or lower, but there's always that set point we recalibrate ourselves to; where we experience happiness. Through the practice of mindfulness meditation we can raise that happiness calibration to a higher level, which, over time will make your happy times even happier, and your unhappy times seemingly less unhappy.

Get happy, give thanks and praise, do the work... make the time, just five minutes at first - sit and be mindful. Observe the breath, repeat an affirmation, focus on a candle flame. Allow your natural thoughts to emerge and simply notice them, then let them drift away like clouds in the sky.

Check back for my next tip - that would be Step 9 - Serve and Help.

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Move - Step 7 to Happiness!

23/11/2012

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Ha, after a day like yesterday, we all need to move a little. Maybe you're a traditionalist and you went outside and threw a pigskin - more likely you sat inside and pigged out as you watched other folks throw that ball...

Or, maybe you took a postprandial ambulation - the proverbial after dinner stroll - in order to not just pass out or make a little more room for pie. Perhaps you got up early and headed to the lake for a Turkey Trot, or a studio and took a yoga class; saw lots of folks taking advantage of that yesterday.

The news in not earth-shattering, it doesn't need to come as a huge revelation, maybe more of a gentle reminder. When we get a little sad, we get a little heavy. Then, we get sedentary and inert. It takes a lot of will to break that inertia, so usually, the inertia builds and it gets harder and harder to get the gumption to do anything. Then, the preponderance of all that 'doing nothing' makes us depressed; we sit in the depression, getting more inert. Without some movement to get our glandular system going and get us really deeply breathing, it's just a vicious cycle of more and more nothingness adding to deeper and deeper despondency.

So, there really is only one choice and that is get moving!! Like, just get off the couch and take a short walk. Get up and stretch, arms overhead, then to one side, then the other. Go up and down some stairs, at home or at work; next time you have an appointment on the 2nd or 3rd floor, walk up. When you feel heavy after a meal, take a short walk or just go outside and breath some fresh air.

We think our lives are so hard, and we work endlessly to be able to buy convenience creating and the pursuit of leisure. For more and more folks that equates to an entitlement of 'not doing anything' or  just 'vegging out' and we all know the variety known as couch potato...

A lot of folks work all day in relatively sedentary conditions - did you know that sitting at work for extended periods of time is actually shortening your life, almost as significantly as smoking!? Then, we sit in our car for a commute, come home and sit down and eat a huge, heavy meal, then plop on the couch to watch some Tube, while perhaps still snacking.

Movement and exercise help regulate the glandular and hormone system in the body, which regulates mental and emotional states. Optimizing our own body's system through regular movement and deep, focused breathing is perhaps the most basic and simple daily maintenance that we can perform. And, it doesn't have to be a huge investment or change. Simple, consistent actions have been shown to make a huge difference. Here's just a little science.

In a study of 65 women with depression and anxiety, the 34 women who took a yoga class twice a week for two months showed a significant decrease in depression and anxiety symptoms, compared to the 31 women who were not in the class.

“Eastern traditions such as yoga have a wonderful antidepressant effect in that they improve flexibility; involve mindfulness, which breaks up repetitive negative thoughts; increase strength; make you aware of your breathing; improve balance; and contain a meditative component,” says Norman E. Rosenthal, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Georgetown University School of Medicine in Washington, D.C.

Now, I know I'm a yogi, so of course, you say, the answer is yoga... yes, but there are other choices! Like yoga, the slow, gentle movements of Tai Chi are another Eastern tradition that might help you break free from sadness, the blues, depression or major depressive disorder.

In a study of 14 older Chinese patients with depression, those who took Tai Chi over a three-month period showed a significant improvement in their depression symptoms. The researchers theorized that the social aspects of Tai Chi, which is done in group settings, may have also played a role in its effectiveness.

That's interesting and helpful. The social aspects may or may not contribute to the overall health, as I talked about in the post on Bonding. It's always interesting to see how these various actions, traits, attributes and choices all serve to reinforce each other... being in community, bonding, accountability, empathy, service, etc.

We all know that having a community creates some accountability. I know yoga students, and have been there myself, where we know that on one particular day what draws us to get out of bed and on the mat is the community and our accountability to it - whether that means we show because they show, or that we know they'll tease us about why we didn't, or that there is a simple unspoken recognition of "if they are, I will." Accountability works and community creates accountability. On top of that, it also reinforces feelings of good will.

I'll be completely honest with you, and you may find this amusing or even concerning, coming from a "Yoga Teacher"... there are many times that I need that accountability and approach my practice with lethargy, or dread, or apathy. And, time after time, I experience those heavy feelings just dropping off of me, as I just get present, connect to the intentional yet casual community and link movement, breath, and attention. I'm talking usually before the third Surya Namaskar. It's really that quick, that effective, and I've never regretted getting into my movement and my breath, and working to create a yoga through asana and pranayama.

Move, breathe, take a walk, swing your arms, stand like Wonder Woman, run like you're wearing a cape, take the stairs, park farther away.

Give thanks and praise, tune in tomorrow for Step 8 - Sit!
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Reduce Distractions - Step 6 to Happiness.

20/11/2012

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That sounds pretty straightforward, until you realize how addicted we are as a culture to continuous input and stimulation. Like right now --- be real --- don't you have another form of media running, music, radio, TV? And, you're reading, but maybe also you're really thinking about what else you should/might be doing, and that takes it out of reading and into mind games.

That's pretty much how it is for me - I know as kids we were praised for being able to multitask in school and it was all the rage. Improve your productivity, maximize your results, amaze your friends, please your parents!!

Well, pilgrims on sea, it just ain't so. In fact, when I first came to the yoga practice and I was struggling to find my place, to understand what was going on, I spent a lot of time multitasking in class. Thinking about "what does that mean?" and wondering "why would they choose that word/pose?". May sound judgmental, probably was, but if I was in a space where I could judge while struggling with my breath, then I was clearly multitasking. And, in truth, it wasn't very productive; I didn't maximize my experience and results.

About six months into my practice, I took Teacher Training for the first time. I recall, the first night we did a fifteen-minute minimally guided meditation. It was well offered and carefully managed and for many of us in the room, the longest extended period of focus, concentration, meditation, mindfulness or what have you that we had ever experienced. After, as we were dialoging and folks were sharing that, I recall my Teacher offering - "yoga is undivided, uninterrupted, continuous focus".

Bam! I got that. And, while I still work each practice to get that, I get it. I grok it. I feel it. That is why I'm happy to extend the definition of yoga way past the asana practice. For some, I think that is the last place they'll encounter yoga. For some, it's a perfect golf swing, being in the zone during a tennis match, throwing a pot on the wheel, getting lost in solving a puzzle, any action where we exhibit pure, uninterrupted, undivided focus... that's the truest yoga.

Ask yourself, if you've experienced flow state --- where it just is and you are and there is little separation between engagement and outcome ---you remember how great it feels. It feels like yoga, like union, like really being connected and linked on so many levels. It feels good, it makes you feel good.

I can provide y'all a bunch of science behind it, but we went there pretty heavy yesterday. There are lots of conclusive studies that show multitasking actually elevates stress responses and minimizes productivity and the new common wisdom is to dedicate specific time to specific tasks or projects and - here's the kicker - even Internet-based companies have 'recess' or 'tech-free time'. Many high-tech offices have a one-hour period a day where you aren't allowed to make or take calls, to have meetings or be scheduled to do something. You simply pick one focus and work.

Try it - pick something easy to minimize. I've been driving my '65 VW lately, it only has an old, cranky radio. It basically gets two stations. I've recently decided it's more fun to drive and be involved in driving her then it is to listen to the absolute bullshit talk-radio that fills my stations. I'm the kind of person who loves to have music in the car, so I mostly found myself turning it on, being plagued by distraction as I wait for music. Now, I just leave it off, and if I need music, I sing!

Reduce just a few distractions. Go to dinner with a friend and leave your phone in the car!!! Take a technology-free day, no media, no computers. Give it a try and let me know how it feels. Find something worthy of your focus and give it your all.

Give thanks and praise - check back tomorrow for Step 7 - Move!

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Create Bonds - Step 5 to Happiness.

19/11/2012

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I like this one, because I like language and I happen to know that the etymology of "bond" comes down to us directly from "bandhas"... however, rather than thinking 'locks', like the kind you lock with a key, think of locking in energy, binding, wrapping with bands, wearing a bandana - all are actions of creating a bond, an energetic state of connection.

Pair bonding, male bonding, human bonding; it's innate and we all have the drive to do it. To belong, to get along, to be cared for and included, to have others who concern themselves with your well-being and for whom you do the same - that's a pretty universal drive, from the family, to the tribe, to the culture.

Basic, we all need it, and clearly, we aren't all getting it. Lots of isolation out there; and just like all those really poor folks who only have money and nothing else, many of us live in utter isolation, even while surrounded by throngs of folks. So, how do we make more connections, how do we create bonds and find community, support and ultimately, the conditions that support happiness.

Well, if you're ready sequentially and you're reading for content and you know me, then the answer is "'you work for it and at it; you create it." Look for the opportunities, connect on the most basic level. If you are going to interact with the same 'stranger' on a repetitive basis this week - the barista, the parking lot guy, the person you get breakfast tacos from, etc. - I challenge you that if you will see them three times in seven days, it's time to learn their name and use it. Or even actually say, 'how are you today?' and be interested in the reply. Say 'see you later!' if you will, because it's true and it connects and insinuates us into each others lives.

There are strong reasons to make these bonds, the most beneficial of which are improved neuro-biological states and elevated moods, and of course, happiness. There's been a lot in the  blogosphere about oxytocin this year. That's what we're on now. If you've got 15 minutes to devote to it, there is an excellent TEDTalk where it's described as the "Moral Molecule". I love that, and the talk rocks; worth your time. This is a huge component in the "trust" work mentioned in the last step.

Before Zak called it the "Moral Molecule", I  liked to refer to it as the 'mend, tend and befriend' hormone since it is the corollary to the hormone we all know as the 'adrenals' which represent 'fright, fight or flight.' Elevated oxytocin bonds folks; it makes us feel better, it makes us care more, it makes us more moral and better humans to live with. All in all, very important to our gregarious nature.

There is ample evidence, in a variety of species, that oxytocin and another hormone known as vasopressin are critical for the bonding process, especially as it relates to social and reproductive behavior. Both chemicals help create what we know as 'pair bonding' and maternal behavior in experiments on laboratory animals (there is ample evidence that in preparation for birth and then in breastfeeding that large amounts of oxytocin and vasopressin are release in order to facilitate maternal bonding).

And, on the flipside, there are some experiments that strongly indicate that social isolation leads to stress, which is associated with activity in the pituitary gland and its related functions, including the production of and the release of cortisol. Minimizing the amount of free cortisol in our bodies is important, not only for glandular health and overall metabolic stability, but also because high levels of cortisol have been shown to contribute to 'viscera fat', or the deep abdominal fat.

We've now discovered that positive social interactions can increase oxytocin release and add to the feeling of mutual benefit. This leads to social bonding, which provides feelings of inclusion. Those feelings continue to help stimulate and produce higher and higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related hormones. So, really, you're talking about a virtuous circle rather than a vicious cycle.

Oxytocin is also associated with higher levels of trust. Its role in facilitating trust and attachment is vital to creating trusting and connected relationships, leading to bonding, be that pair, maternal, or social. It is thought that in the reward centers of our primitive brain center dopamine interacts with oxytocin in order to increase the likelihood of bonding, and to reinforce the bond.

So, it feels good to be connected; it changes us and others. It creates morality, trust, beneficial behavior, caring, tending and befriending. And, the good news is that it just builds and grows. You can improve your bond with loved ones and friends, you can begin to bond with those you see regularly, you can choose to find something positive to share with strangers for the five minutes of common space you share.

And, yes, you know it, you can do it with a four-legged friend and get all the same benefits, as well as a being who actually really just loves you and mostly won't even talk back. It's medically proven to extend life and help healing when folks bond with pets - and, lots of furry friends out there could use your love and are willing to help you get healthier in exchange! Help ATX be a 'no-kill city'!

Give thanks and praise - check back tomorrow for Step 6 - Reduce Distractions!

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Place Trust in Yourself - Step 4 to Happiness.

17/11/2012

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Trust, belief, faith and hope... all of those are important, at different times and in different measures. But, to be honest, each of those words implies an element of surrender, of being out of control, of letting go. Scary stuff, for many; yet oddly comforting.

You've definitely heard it and been told that "you can't love someone else until you love yourself"; true that, but no one talks about trust this way. I think it is exactly the same proposition. Or, maybe I should say "in case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, be sure to place your mask on first before assisting those you are traveling with."

How do we start building trust in ourselves? If you're here and reading this, you won't be surprised by this answer. It's a spiritual practice; it begins by believing at an authentic level that the Universe is a basically intelligent and benevolent and loving place that is evolving in common good. And, that you are uniquely and intricately insinuated in creation.

The trust is built from belief; the belief is shored by the knowledge. Knowledge that you are important to the Universe and its creative function, and that you are co-creating the experience which you believe you are simple living and perceiving.

Then, you ask, how do we make that happen? You just start trusting... First, you figure out how to align your own beliefs and actions in order to create trust with yourself. Whether that be the choices you make or the discipline you stick to or the goals you set yourself. Know that you are worthy of the challenge, up to the work, and be accountable to it.

When we trust, others or ourselves, it's an incredible act of vulnerability. We are vulnerable, because we believe, without knowing, that we can depend on others or ourselves. Therefore, the level of trust we can give others is completely related to the level of trust we can expect from ourselves. There's that subtly threatening aspect again, the surrender and the vulnerability. Well folks, the greatest work is done with the eyes closed and the heart breaking. Trust yourself, it's worth it.

Practicing mindfulness is one way to develop this relationship of knowing and being nurtured by the cosmos; as with any spiritual practice or one based on consciousness, you must do the work, within. We've go to strike an intentional interchange and play between hope, faith, and belief. Sitting daily and cultivating a relationship with reality and your mind is the best way to create the basis for trusting your own beliefs and having faith in oneself.

Trust - that's when we have a belief and we see it or experience it, and it's reliable and it's dependable. When we know the intentions and actions are in alignment, we can build the foundation for trustworthiness. Trust is truth, in action and in experience. It is a gift, it is a blessing, and it is a boon.

It is most often our ego, or experiences and the residual stain those leave on our personality that will prevent us from fully experiencing trust in ourselves and others.  Becoming more aware of triggers and unconscious roadblocks to trust allows us to work through them and move past those impediment. Perhaps, then we can allow ourselves to experience the joy of trustworthiness.

What is it that you aren't doing? Where have you lost faith in yourself or your abilities? What would it be like to simply trust yourself, your intuition, your gut, your best instincts?

Give thanks and praise, trust yourself to be up to your challenges and rise to meet them - come back tomorrow for Step 5 - Create Bonds.
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Explore The Shadows - Step 3 to Happiness.

16/11/2012

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Well, you know you're blogging in the yoga-sphere when you are Shine one day and Shadow the next - that gentle tug of the balance in opposing forces.

I think one really common misconception, and one that is perpetuated by a lot of folks in the community is that it's all love and light, happy and bright. Holy blue-face, it's NOT! It's more often about getting real with what is real, and understanding where we 'are coming from.'

You know, you can't tell how bright it is unless you've seen the darkness. We have to know isolation and desolation to be able to accept the sweetness in consolation. And each of us has had our struggles. One thing about my community, we can get bragging rights for sharing really openly in the right environment. I've been to enough deep trainings and intensives to tell you all, confidently, no one comes through unscathed... so many are hurt and damaged and have been abused, misused, maltreated, neglected, etc.

It's always amazing to me now when folks are surprised. When someone's carefully created facade finally crumbles and falls and you realize someone you held in high esteem is just as frightened and insecure and triggered as you have been; that we have all failed, been shamed, been hurt.

A long time ago, because I really wanted to be doing the work --- the more profound work of yoga education, which to me means getting deeper than the asana, into all of the experience, and to use this to discern, train and understand --- I moved to the folks who I thought could get me there. I was fortunate to be able to find my primary teacher, Seane Corn.

With Seane and company, (as I'm also talking about the collaborative work of OTM) the shadows are not off-limits, rather, they are the fertile ground for self-discovery. I have often seen and witnessed, as well as had the personal insights myself, that 'our greatest fame is a result of our greatest shame'... the introverted child, who was ignored or neglected will often become a really important, key player; a center of attention. Those who have been wronged will become protectors.... those who were diminished will work on helping others grow.

Many very successful people i know have been startled to 'track their success' to some early childhood or adolescent trauma or traumas. Yes, profound, I would suggest, nearly universal and yet, we are taught to be ashamed of those things, to get over them, to leave them behind, not to be a victim, etc.

The act of denial and avoidance leaves us less than whole. And it leaves us reactive - trigger-able! For what we have experienced either directly or otherwise in our trauma can bring out the worst in us; even though the mirror of that is the best of us.
 
Case in point: when I was about 11 or 12, a family member of mine inappropriately used me to experiment with sexually. It was not chronic abuse, it was a one-time occurrence. Still, at that age, before kids had access to Cable and Internet I claim true youthful, naivete. I had no idea I was giving oral sex or being made to have intercourse other than the odd physical acts.

I grew up in a family where sexual abuse was for 'another class' of folks, where no one who drank themselves to sleep was an alcoholic because that term was for losers who hit people and got arrested. I grew up in a family where therapy meant you were fucked up and my family wasn't fucked up. Except, like every family it was in one way or another. Even with lovely parents, pillars of the community.

I never said anything, it then 'didn't happen' and I was able to do this really interesting thing which I will call 'compartmentalization' or 'turning it into an ABC After School Special'. That means it went in a mental box, it got stored, every once in a while I would completely review it (I remember a lot of details) but never 'feel' it, just watch it.

I got really good at it; and I got left alone a lot. I liked that. The situation had nuances. My parents were great, but I was the youngest, by a gap. My older siblings had all the home movies, lots of snapshots, the cute costumes. I've got one reel of Super 8, and some hand-me-downs on in the Polaroids. I'd say my parents went back to having a life and mostly allowed my older siblings to raise me. One did more than the other; that's the one I bonded with. That's the one who abused me.

It's easy to see it now, I blamed my parents for being absentees and not caring for me. I accepted the alternative caregiver and then that person abused the trust and me. I had no one to go to, and it wasn't going to be talked about or good, so I just stuffed it away. It didn't happen again, so eventually, it didn't happen.

For about the last five years, every time I'd get into a deep, good practice, and be presented with some good hip-openers, the 'box' would come out of the 'compartment' and I would review it, but again, like I was watching a movie and it was happening to someone else. That only lasts so long; this year, I put the movie in Sensurround and just played it, felt it, mourned it, raged on it, and then said, 'yup, that's me, that's real'.

How'd we get here from Happy, the gentle reader asks?? In one straight line!

While the shame and trauma I experienced made me who I am, someone who is very loyal, protective, takes the leadership role to ensure integrity and moves to places to care for others, my triggers get the exact opposite. Righteous indignation, rage, vengeful, exclusion, condescension, negativity.

If I don't let the story of where I'm coming from be real, then I can't understand where I am. If I can know my triggers, by finding my shame and owning it and learning from it, then I will know that I am here, better, stronger and in service because of it. And, I can hold myself, use my practice, use my discernment, and not fall victim to being held in that space, but rather continue to shine.

I shine brighter because I found the deepest shadow; I find happiness because I don't deny or avoid real sorrow. Never fixed, just keep turning inward and doing the work - the knife shines after the stone.

Make sense? Feel like there might be something there? Do the work, tread lightly but surely; asana practice is the safest laboratory for personal discovery and change. Find yours.

Give thanks and praise - and come back tomorrow for Step 4 - Place Trust in Yourself!
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Find Where You Shine - Step 2 to Happiness.

15/11/2012

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That sounds exciting, doesn't it?

While some of the folks who dwell in the yoga-world want you to believe your ego is like the HIV virus and must be eradicated (you can live with it), it's nice every once in a while to feel good at something.

When we are doing something we like, where we know we can do well (and we feel the flow), we create positive feelings in ourselves. Not just positive feelings, but improved overall moods and mental states, through optimized brain chemistry. Not only does it feel good and make us feel better, it makes us learn more quickly and retain that knowledge more specifically.

If what we do well is service or involves giving, then we can also imbue those feelings into the service and others may choose to feel better. Like when you see a musician perform really well, you know they're digging it, yet you're digging it - you feel moved. Even though their enjoyment might be seen as selfish, they are expressing Self through the muse and therefore, serving others. And, we all feel good.

Now, comes the discernment - what are you good at? Next question - does that 'talent' or 'skill' or 'attribute' serve and promote well-being, connection and elevation? Interesting question, because I'm not talking about are you good at being sarcastic, condescending, superior, a prick, a bitch, a really nasty person? Those aren't areas I'm interested in seeing you excel in! Therefore, the title - Find Where You SHINE!!

Shine - it's the essence of passion embodied; it's the emanation of calling from the deepest Self that is apparent to others; it's the attractive force that draws the curious and the lost, like a moth to a flame. And, it's a source of subtle yet magnificent power, safety, security, care, love, illumination and elevation.

If you can't think of what you do well, think of what you'd like to do well and put your focus there - improve, practice, fail and get back up, endeavor, persevere, persist and surrender and become just a little better, and a little brighter.

If you do something well, hell, I don't care, maybe it's crocheting (I wouldn't even be able to evaluate your proficiency), then crochet like it makes the world better. Share it, love it, do it, serve with it, teach it, make it your mediation, choose it over vice - SHINE!

I did grow up getting my schoolin' in the Brady Household, via the small tube that back then had a knob on the side.... I remember, you do, too, and will probably out yourself by correcting which brother, but I'm pretty sure it was Peter (see, totally wrong, I'm in the edits, and it was Jan who got this advice; after the 'lemons on freckles debacle', she needed a solid), who went to ole Poppa, Mike Brady, and whined his (her) adolescent ass off about not being special. MIke's advice, to this day, rings in my ears - "Find out what your best at, and do your best at it!"

Words to live by: even if they came from Sherwood Schwartz, truth knows no container.

Ask your friends if you don't know - say, "hey, what am I good for?? what should I be doing?" - and if they love you, they'll answer!

Give thanks and praise, and come back tomorrow for the flip-side, Step 3 - Explore the Shadows!
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Dwell in Wonder - Step 1 to Happiness.

14/11/2012

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Wonder - awe, delight, to see or to look at, to love, to stand before, to smile, a miracle... also, to not know. To have no idea.

That's the rub. All of the great definitions of wonder make is so attractive, so pleasant. But wonder is to admire (to stare in the mirror), not to understand, but rather, to feel. Not to have knowledge of, but rather, to have experience of.

Too often, we're just driven to know the answer, and most of those answers are so petty... from the fundamentalist who simply won't think outside of the framework of what their dogma tells them, to the inquisitive mind that needs to know why things happen, good to bad, bad to good, or whatever combination.

We create myths, we create experiments, we seek the answers, as if the divine was in the gaps and if we could simply fill in all of the gaps, we'd be able to capture divinity. We are so sure there must be a reason, there must be a 'designer' or an process that we can outline every step of. No one can admit, we simply don't know. Yet, that may be the release.

I suggest, dwell in wonder. Dwell in awe, in delight, in merely seeing, in loving freely in the moment, stand before and be present and experience, smile, and watch miracles occur. Watch a flower bloom, watch a rainstorm come and go and dry up. Watch a puppy or a child grow. Sit and be and 'don't know' and feel how amazing and awe-inspiring it is to be present to mystery, to divinity and to wonder.

Turn on a light switch and be humbled - sure, you think you know how it works, you've got words like "bulb", "circuit", "switch", "current", etc. And, you have the idea, or do you? I don't know how a circuit works, only what it implies. I have no idea about electric currents and how they excite a filament. Someone told me shit, I feel smart now, so it is not miraculous to walk into a room and flip a switch and see light.... Except, IT IS!!

I mean, really - say you "don't know" and be okay with that. I don't know how things happen or why, I just watch them, watch myself, and try to move as subtly through the experience I can. I find ways to be in awe - I listen to experience, and share it without having to catalog, curate or create it.

So, consider that as a perspective. Given everything you know about humans, how do we not kill each other every time we drive or shop at malls?? Stand in wonder of it all.

Find wonder, be in awe, and dwell in it. Don't be so swift to need to know, smile and experience it. Slow it all way down and see what you feel. That's today's thought and practice - tomorrow, "Find Where You Shine".

Give thanks and praise - and share what's giving you wonder today!
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    Chrispy - Bhagat Singh

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