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Fifty Shades of Shit - Last Words, Then I'm Done On It...

31/5/2012

1 Comment

 
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I have long supposed this to be true, and whenever I engage in non-emotional conversations about it, I find concurrence from women on my theory... and, that still stands true, here in paradise. Here is my theory: 

Women are far more misogynistic than men could ever be - the way women portray and treat each other is far more troubling and pervasive than the overt and easily identifiable attitudes of men.

Case in point - this piece of literary bullshit guising as erotic fiction (the reviews on Amazon are priceless and on point) - Fifty Shades of Grey. Bestseller, by the way, indicates Quantity, not Quality and any of you who have recently pursued the NYT Bestseller's list would concur. Quantity equates to 'lowest common denominator', so to assume there is any quality in a book that has become a best seller means lowering your tastes to the bottom rung, not elevating your self and raising your ideals.

Since I used to think that Dan Brownand Dean Koontz were some of the worst writers, with even worse editors, to sully the shelves of bookstores, I'm almost delighted to find that gender is no indicator for horrendous prose! To wit, Dan Brown is notorious for his over-garbled and grammatically challenged writing, especially in his first sentences, I was almost happy to read the first line of prose in 50SoG, and find it short, terse and on point. For me, however, that pointedness reflected directly upon me, the reader: "I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror." Exactly how I felt as endeavored to read this tripe.


I won't belabor the points, just give a few examples. "Oh my" is apparently the mantra of 22-year-old college grads. The main character does not go four pages without an internal "Oh my." And, when she finally becomes sexually-active, because she is of course a virgin who has never even given or received head, she has orgasms like most people blink. From stimulation of her nipples alone - in a world where many women self-admittedly struggle to achieve orgasms through penetration, I find it absurd how come-able this woman is, and a poor message.

Also, one of her other preferred orgasm expression is "Aargh!" -  I kid you not, no less than five times, she has an "Aarghasm", which everyone I've talked to interprets singularly as the cry of a Pirate, not ecstasy. The author spends over 300 pages of lead-character denigration - clumsiness, social awkwardness, insecurity, self-loathing, poor social skills, timidity, etc - before somewhere around page 350, we're told by the stunning antagonist that she is the most 'charming, beautiful and witty woman he has ever met'; talk about cognitive dissonance. Really, check some Amazon reviews, they are priceless...

I'm concerned the author, even though it's written that she has two children, herself might be a virgin, because her handling of prose indicates no knowledge or insights into sexual acts or intercourse. In fact, for over  300 of the 500+ pages, the lead character's vulva and vagina are continuously referred to as 'down there', 'that place' or some other withering euphemism. Then, we are graced with the phrase 'my sex' which is used cautiously throughout the remainder. 

Same for the male character. I believe 'erection' is the most specific word used; and, upon their first liaison, she herself removes his pants and it is a full three pages later that there is any mention of anything in his boxers. Certainly, if it's a 'magnificent erection' it might've caught her eye when she was kneeling in front of him stripping him down. For an "adult erotic" novel, there is such a puritanical prudence throughout -  to quote a good friend of mine, 'where's the pussy, cunt, cock, dick, hole, pole' or any other actual word that describes the 'naughty bits'??

Further, I suspect the author may be familiar with email, but perhaps never used it?? There are pages and page of 'dialog' that are in the form of emails. They are tediously relayed in their entirety (from, to, date, time, subject, content). I would simply ask you, when is the last time you sent a four word reply to an email, erotic or non, where you stopped to change the subject line?? I can't find anyone who has, and that's what RE: is for!! However, our gentle author has an exchange that goes through 22 replies, every subject line is different, even when the subject line stretches to twice the length of the reply content. I cry "Bullshit".

And, if you live in London or England, set your novel there, not the PNW... I'm not sure anyone 22 years of age from the US, in the PNW would be calling someone else a 'cheeky cad' or carrying a 'rucksack'... author, do as you will. Editor, for shame!!!

Finally, quite near the end of the book comes the true payoff, the most pathetic and eternal meme of girls and boys - really, 500+ pages for this?? "Embarrassment and shame wash over me. I'm a complete failure. i had hoped to drag my Fifty Shades into the light, but it's proved a task beyond my meager abilities." Really?? C'mon, that "I'll change this bad boy" shit is so played out. Reminds me in T3 when Claire Danes looks at Nick Stahl and says "look at you sitting there like that bad boy thing still works!". Exactly.

This is straight up dysfunction, a continuation of some shit that everyone has watched create ridiculous codependent and destructive relationships, but some housewives sitting on their spin-cycling washing machines are sopping it up! 

So much to be learned from this book - how to identify shitty prose and avoid it; how to see poor editing and avoid it; how to discern when you are being feed a line of misogynistic shit and not be surprised that it comes from one of your own.

I put it to rest - and while I'm not happy I wasted 500 pages of time, I at least know what is speaking to the lowest common denominator and how to avoid it!

Like I said before, erotica is great and we are way past the days when you have to assume that porn is some poor, crack-addicted exploitative process. If you want to get off, get off - that's fine. Just do it with something worthy of your time and your self-esteem.

Done, on to the Kinder-Killers of Collins; I'm told it will be quite refreshing. Why wouldn't Young Adult fiction be better than this twaddle called Adult Erotica. The only reason to have a book club on this one is to drink a lot of red wine and engage in the once only reserved for fundamentalistic-freaks joy of BURNING BOOKS!

GIve thanks and praise... especially if you've never read a word of it.

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Getting as High as Heaven in the Yucatan.

30/5/2012

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Today was an exceptional day - and not what was expected or even planned for, but what was was simply what needed to be, and I was happy to adjust myself to it.

Woke up before the sun, met with some lovely friends and went to the water's edge to call up the sun! And, we got to see it breaking through the clouds, and shining sweet and bright. After that, a quick cup of coffee and then I taught Vinyasa. Students found their own groove, we did some great individuation and then came together to flow, and to play.

Finishing that, I grabbed a quick breakfast and set out for Coba, one of the incredible Meso-American sites close by. It was a quick forty-five minute drive, we arrived nice and early (Gracias, Manuel!) and beat the rush. It's entered into the rainy season, but this morning was just mostly overcast, with the air moving around nicely. This is a benefit, because even though you head through the jungle to get there, there are ample opportunities to get a great sunburn, especially for those of us who hail from the Hebrides!

The overcast sky made it cooler in the jungle and the air moving thwarted the mosquitos, so two unexpected boons on the trip to start out. VIsiting Coba entails hiring a guide to give you the overview, the history, the differences between the Classic period and the Post-Classic period, of which I give you the quick, cliff-notes. Classic is Mayan culture, and they would really like you to understand that they were NOT into human sacrifice... animals, sure, but not humans. About 700 years later, you enter the Post-Classic period where the Toltecs came and joined the Maya, and these are the folks that loved to chop off heads.

Ball courts, they've got 'em. Two really nice ones, with sloping sides and a large hoop, only about 3 meters up; this is in contrast to the largest ball court uncovered, at Chichen Itza, where the walls were vertical, the hoop very small and about 7 meters up the vertical wall (and where the 12 pound ball was set on fire during play). So, Coba's seem pretty tame, until you realize that in the Classic Period, it was the WINNER who to the honor of self-sacrifice - this entailed either piercing the tongue and then threading through a multi-meter rope through that hole. Oh, forgot to mention that large thorns and barbs were woven into this rope. Ok, what kind of prize is that - here's your alternative: you can push a meter long stingray tail through your penis because that'll make anyone a winner.

Have to say, I guess if that's winning, I would rather have been the star of the Post-Classic, where they just lopped off the winner's head at the end of the game. Call me crazy, but last place sounds great!

Past the ball courts, and after you leave the guide, you can take a kilometer walk through the jungle to Nohoch Mul, or the Big Pyramid. While the pyramid at Tikal in Guatemala is technically higher, the Pyramid at Coba is the highest point on the Yucatan peninsula and well worth the arduous climb.

So, we trek through the jungle, enjoying the craziness of the flora and fauna and arrive at the base of Nohoch Mul. You'd think you could see this thing from a kilometer away, but unlike most sites where the pyramid is on a plaza, this one just rises out of the jungle. You come to a curve in the path, then there's a little opening, then you're staring up at the 60 degree angle of the face of the Nohoch! Truly inspiring and grand and mind-blowing.

We're standing there, just digging it, preparing. The sky cracks open and it just pours, like firehouse-rain-forest-deluge. So, we run to the nearest little palapa, with about 15 Russians and contemplate our options. You see, these steps are at slightly better than a 60 degree angle, they're between 12-18 high, but about 6-9 inches deep and they are well worn... for most folks, going up is hard enough, and I've seen more than a few just simply balk at going down... crawling down, butt-dropping like a kid on the stairs or crawling down backwards. No judgment, it's freaky - I'm a freak, so I'm happy to run up and walk down, but not in a deluge.

Bummer, I'm thinking, all this way for a shut-out... my friend, Kel-e is with me, and our new travel companion, Kat. We're willing to wait... glad we did. About 15 minutes later, there is a slight break in the downpour, then it settles to a drizzle. We bolt for it, jump up it like antelopes, which still takes a bit of time, and make it to the place where we can join the Honey God, high as heaven. The view is indescribable! You can truly see for miles, and the first temple that you walk by with the tour guide that seems so high barely pierces the canopy. You can see the multiple lakes, and a carpet of hundreds of colors of green as the forest canopy becomes the 'ground'. 

I've seen it before, but I'll never pass on the chance to see it again. And, the other time was in 95+ direct sun, baking us and making it hard to simply stay up top and enjoy the view. An added benefit of the day and the rain was watching soft clouds of mist roll over the tree tops - ever seen the "Smoke" in the Great Smoky Mountains? Then you get the magic of the image.

We knew we were pushing it, so down in the drizzle, which did make it much scarier. One mis-step and you're at the bottom, fast and broken. Luckily for us, no worries, all down and happy and grateful. 50 meters back on the trail headed back and the deluge begins again, and I've taken a shower with my clothes on and not gotten that wet. But, we were digging it, living it, I didn't have to use sunscreen (which I hate) or OFF (which I deplore, but use in the jungle). All in all, soaked to the skin but grateful and happy!

You don't climb a mountain or a pyramid to conquer it, but rather to conquer the self, and to see the perspective that is only available to those who make the climb, not those who stay on the ground. So, what are you willing to scale, to ascend to, to elevate to? 

Think about it, and give thanks and praise for rainy days!

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50 Shades of Grey - Stay at Home Mommy Porn!

29/5/2012

7 Comments

 
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I am both ashamed and delighted to report today... First, some context. Aside from a fabulous yoga retreat, some excellent rest and relaxation and companionship, there's mischief afoot in the Yucatan.

That's because I'm here in 'reader-ville'...  here at Maya Tulum there is a lot of down time. You can catch up on your reading, while just dozing out on the good views.

I didn't want to carry a lot of books down here, and only brought ones I was willing to leave on the 'share shelf'. On the plane down, I finished off one book, in the first two nights here, another. So, getting short on reading material, I headed over to the 'share shelf'... it's really a delightful experience to surrender to what is, and to have that monkey mind that is willing to read something versus nothing.

So, there is Dostoyevsky "The Idiot", although it's in German... there are a few other random somewhat interesting titles, also in other languages. What I can find available here is "Catching Fire" - can't wait to see how ridiculous Katniss and the post-apocalyptic kinder-killers are up to (full disclosure, only been disappointed by a film thus far - can't imagine the writing is going to redeem it); the other choice is a very blown out, humid and bloated (double entendres intended) version of 50 Shades. I only know about this book from the derision and scorn that it has garnered from folks I know.

The title of this post is how it has been described to me - sometimes I'm so totally out of it, I don't get some of the cultural references (and I go to bed early). So, I was really delighted to be directed to this SNL skit that mocks and derides it. Oh, and ladies, while I'm a huge proponent of and recommend everyone to develop one, this is not what I mean when I talk about 'home practice'!

Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll be so grossly offended (not by porn, or attempts at porn) by how banal and ridiculous this exciting bowl of vanilla ice cream is. And, I will share what I experience, perhaps only as a service to save any of you from having to waste the time to understand the hype...

And, if you really want to read about this subject matter, there are so many great choices: here's just a few for you, experience it for yourself.

The Story of the Eye - Georges Bataille
Macho Sluts - Pat Califia
The Story of O - Pauline Reage

(sorry, tried to get you links to Amazon, but the internet is fuzzy! Check them out yourself!).

Why waste your time on pop, when you can really rock!! Thoughts, suggestions, praise for 50SoG?

Give thanks and praise, and keep reading - whatever you like!

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To Remember is the Privilege; To Change is the Responsibility.

28/5/2012

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Please, imagine if you would, that one could object to a reality, without objecting to, blaming, shaming or disrespecting those who unfortunately lived and died in that reality. That premise leads my post and my thoughts today. If you can agree, read on; otherwise, best to get back to George Takei or you favorite kitty-picture meme.

On days such as today, it's not uncommon to come across the biblical verse, John 15:13: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." While the sentiment was, and for many, is noble, holds truth and creates a solemnity, I object to the continued use of this verse, for the very mindset it purports.


You see, we've been blessed, many of us, to live not only in two centuries, but in two millennia. And, a privilege of marking that experience is to grow, to evolve, to reflect on that past and to learn from it, not mindlessly keep replaying the folly of it, over and over.

I'm not here to insult your religion. I had that same religion for a while. There are a lot of lovely thoughts and statements and intentions within the tradition. There's also an enormous amount of horseshit in those pages: human sacrifice, murder of the innocents, prohibitions on random foods and many, many superstitions that were codified by desert nomads of over 3,000 years ago. While the message of love, inclusion and hope are eternal, not eating shellfish, keeping slaves, bearing shame, giving your virgin daughters to a rowdy crowd and the like should be vestiges of the past.

Oh, and for those who draw their wisdom for this day and age from that day and age and who purport to know the 'definition of marriage', please tell me the last time you kept slaves, stoned your neighbor to death, traded your daughter for livestock or had more than one wife - I find your reading and your application highly selective.

Be informed, learn lessons but use discernment. We simply can't keep repeating the sins of the past by referring our lives, ethics and morals against primitive tribesfolk.

So, let me put it back to the affirmative... what if we changed the script, after 2,000 years, to "Greater love has no man, than to work his entire life in peace to ensure no man ever dies for another, for an ideal or for the conceits of others." Or "Greater love have we not for life than we choose not to place it at jeopardy within the institutionalized hatred of war." 

Absolutely, honorable humans are still laying their lives down to save their fellows in combat - that is ultimately the definition of heroism. Yet, for what? And I ask, because we all participate - we know these wars to be unjust, to be predicated on lies, to be about maintaining power and global hegemony. 

Thus, I ask today - yes, honor those who have fallen, yet do everything in your power to ensure no one else's son or daughter, husband or wife, brother or sister, or father or mother ever has to die to serve causes created from fear, ignorance, intolerance or greed. They fight to defend us - how about if we stop offending and then we won't have to keep defending.

Really, 3,000 years later, with every intellectual, social, moral, ethical and spiritual advancement we've made, and we still aren't at our core revolted, repulses and indignant that a very small group of poorly minded individuals feels free to kill our countrymen and countrywomen, and the best we can do is put flags or ribbons on the car, and have a BBQ. Each of us, everyone, is either working for peace and non-violent conflict resolution, or are simply a gear in the war machine that kills our beloveds in the cause of killing another's beloveds.


Do what you can, do what you will, but someday, create a world where you have to explain to your children's children that we used to have this holiday where we mourned those we killed while they killed those who we believed would kill us... and live for the moment when you see the confusion on their faces, because it's all so primitive and absurd.

Let's co-create that; for if we don't, we institutionalize what we do. And, of course, give thanks and praise, while making a better world!

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Sleeping, Reading, Eating, Meeting, Gazing, Lazing, Flowing, Eating, Reading, Sleeping...

27/5/2012

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Yup, that's the agenda for today - so pleased to report after a break of day getaway, a couple of quick flights with a rapid connection and then a leisurely van ride, we arrived midday at Maya Tulum, deep on the  Mexican Riviera.

I'm blessed to say this is the third time I've been invited to grace these sweet shores and environs. Maya Tulum is the ubiquitous yoga retreat destination; off-the grid, but not without the basic comforts. Basic electricity, but no phones, no TV. Great palapas and cabanas, but no AC. Strong breezes and thatched roofs and a resident iguana and a flock of geckos in each room (natural bug control).

Warm waters, long beaches, deep forest, tropical offerings and for a really sweet change this year, plenty of water from the sky!! Yup, we've had a few downright downpours since we've been here; one on the drive down that near stopped traffic, and one last night and today thus far that lashed the cabanas and had us all moving closer to the center of the room.

Funny, back home, it's the kind of deal-breaker rain that would 'ruin your day'; here, where you are deeply immersed in the natural world and where her cycles trump all other devices, clocks and calendars, the rain has been downright majestic. And, for me, subtly cathartic - I'm always reminded of Wm. S Burroughs' quote - "One of these days a big rain is going to come and wash all the shit off the streets..." I'll speak for myself, though I've just been told by many others, this kind of vacation, or more aptly, retreat, is about leaving dull care behind and connecting to self, to purpose, to nature and with each other. In order to get there, I can use a good  cleansing, and while we can get that in the asana practice or in our meditations, it's great to have the symbolic flush just happening around us.

I'm not a huge beach person, don't get me wrong, I love it here and am full of thanks and praise. But I love and live with a true water sign, a girl who's never been that far from water and ideally the ocean. One of those people who takes every advantage of that energy. She makes me love it even more, watching her enjoyment, her fulfillment, her play and passion. While I'm not naturally inclined to seek the water, I do love the places at the edges, at the thresholds, at the limns - where opposing yet complimentary energies meet.

Any surprise, since that is one of my basic definitions and perspectives on yoga - to find the space where opposing forces become compliments. So, at the edges of the earth, at the lips of the sea, where the two meet and merge ---- for me, this is where transformation is catalyzed and alchemized.

There is, of course, the open expansiveness, the limitlessness that the ocean presents. There's the ion exchange that happens with the crashing surf, there's the naad (deep almost unheard sound) of the constantly moving line between earth and water. All of this is ripe for change. And, there's more and more evidence to suggest that some of the great leaps in brain-size growth that happened down the hominid family tree occurred as the grasslands and sahels began to dry up and force the hunter-gatherers closer to the coasts and to that incredible bounty and food supply. The majority of shellfish and shore-available fish and fauna have been credited for bringing in the right nutrients to create our optimized brain size and function.

So, perhaps, when we return to the shore, perhaps it's even that primordial, deep residual that brings us to that place of limitless possibilities, of leaving the low mind and elevating, of dropping the mundane and becoming more expansive. The limitlessness of the sea before us opens our minds to possibilities we may have discounted in our normal environs.

And, come on, if feels good to play, to romp, to swim and float and to be 'out of time, out of place'. That's what I'm hearing has worked for those who have returned, and what beckoned to those who made the leap for the first time. There is a strong quality of release that nature provides and when we see the sky unbound, the horizon expanding and these places meeting in their elements, we feel more free to let go.

So, don't hate - congratulate! And, if you want this, make it happen. Let's be clear; stop drinking any one of those shitty, syrupy high-fructose anxiety and tension creating beverages daily, sock that $4 or $5 away, and by the end of this twelve-month cycle, you'll have the money for a retreat, a cruise or whatever! You make the choices, daily. You deserve it, but only if you think you're worth it - believe me, you are. And, a great vacation or retreat last for months - the recharge you provide yourself carries you, higher, longer and more pleasantly.

Where is your place? Where do you long to go back to? What is the feeling, the experience, the loss that works or the gain that you find?? How do you recharge - do you? What's keeping you from placing your self first?

As they say on the plane - because a yogi listens and makes everything a lesson - if  we experience a loss of cabin-pressure (code talk for 'when the shit hits the fan'), place your oxygen mask on first and then take care of your fellow passengers! Get the message - YOU FIRST, OR YOU ARE WORTHLESS TO OTHERS - and, yogis, you're living to be with your family and friends, so it makes no sense if you're killing yourself, softly, with that song.

Give thanks and praise, make a plan, and make it for you - that's the best gift you can give your loved ones - you, lovable!

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Make it Memorable!

25/5/2012

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Another holiday is upon us, and I'm always intrigued by 'days of observance' and how they have changed and morphed with the times and the culture.

Many of the holidays have lost much of their original intent, or become really commercialized. Others have just become a good time to get together and celebrate community, but no matter what or how you celebrate, these are times set aside from our normal experience.

Days of observance, where we are to remember, where we are to bring solemnity, honor, and thanks for sacrifice and service. What can we learn, because I firmly believe that if we forget the past we're destined to repeat it; so, what can you learn from the intention, not the actual way your holiday weekend rolls out, but what can you learn about observance? What can you appreciate the value of, and in what way can you make time out of time more memorable.

Observance, self-study, witnessing. These are basic tenets of the asana practice as I see it and practice and teach it. We can use the practice to help create that space where we can witness ourselves, moving away from judgment and into observation. In that observation, we can begin to recognize those habitual reactions, judgments and limitations that we've become ensured to. 

While it's valuable to do this work in the safe space of the asana practice and the yoga studio, we must be able to hold that consciousness, and carry those lessons into the world. It's not all about your mat! What skills --- breath, ease, persistence, concentration, compassion --- can you bring from the mat into your experience? Are you gaining skills for an hour a day of your life, or for your life?

Here's my double-down-dog-dare for you: go boldly forth into the insanity and pleasure or pressure and fun or obligations that you've got arranged for your holiday weekend. And jump right in and participate. And then, every once in a bit, just 'sit back' mentally and observe - yourself, your interactions, the role you play, the habits, the tendencies. Don't judge, just observe.

See what you notice - laugh at the game. Make a simple change, be a little nicer or set a firmer boundary. Step up, or let someone else lead. Just try to see how you are begin you, as you are being you. Enjoy the holiday, enjoy your friends, enjoy yourself, and enjoy observing yourself enjoying yourself!

And give thanks and praise! 

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Who Are You Talking To?

23/5/2012

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You talking to me?? Sorry, had a Taxi Driver moment there...

I've been talking to some friends, and I realize that I'm often just 'working it out' in my posts, my classes and my videos. They each offer a unique and excellent environment to pose questions, explore options and ultimately, arrive at some level of discernment. At least, that's been my experience.

Therefore, I work to straddle a thin line between 'look at me, look at me' and the vulnerability that comes with talking about fears, about shortcomings, aspirations, failures, and the like. I'm committed to providing safe space for students and my clients to be able to get to the truth, to explore their truth in that, and to begin to fashion change. If I wasn't doing that work for myself, with myself, I'd be a hypocrite. And, to be clear and also remind myself.... hypocrisy is my trigger - internal and external.

When I am in doubt, when I'm not feeling the connection to self and Self, when I'm vulnerable, my own internal self-defeating mantra is 'hypocrite'. I think we all have one - a great teacher of mine likened it to being in a car and having a 'younger drunk version of herself' in the  backseat screaming 'fraud'. Not all the time, but we all can question our worth, or our ability to do what we say and intend.

I found the 'backseat of the car' metaphor very informative and I could personalize it - I liken mine to having twin brothers who look remarkably like Wayne and Garth in my backseat, stoned out of their minds, screaming "Hypocrite! Hypocrite! Will you do the Fandango!!" Yes, there are thunderbolts and lightening, very very frightening... ok, I digress.

Topic for today, I'll put it simply, because it is already hard enough. When you are upset, not clear, disconnected, or even pissed off - who are you talking to?? Yup, that is the question.

Are you talking to yourself, over and over, institutionalizing and justifying your anger, your righteousness and your indignation - and separation? Are you talking to all of your friends, getting sympathy, validation and again separation? Are you talking to anyone except the other person - anyone else as long as it isn't 'them'...

Put it simply, how about we talk to the person, not about the person? I can tell you, I used to work for Whole Foods and I managed stores - that meant I had sometimes over 150 Team Members, and I really believed in an open door and in being available for them. In the course of anything, shit happens, folks disagree, feeling are hurt, etc.

I was happy to help and listen, but it had to be about helping correct the situation, not just help them feel better. So, I would practice a great technique. "Rama" would come to me and say "Sita" did this, or "Sita" did that, and it made me feel this way or that way or it was unfair or fill in the blanks. Because this could simply spiral out of control, everyone got the 'vent' or 'let it go' session, but if they couldn't let it go and had to keep telling me about "Sita", I would stop the conversation really politely and say "Let's get Sita in here and talk with her, not about her".

Sadly, 75% of the time, that wasn't an option folks wanted - you know, most folks want to bitch and moan, but not be accountable. And, what folks are willing to say in the absence of folks is dramatically different than what they would say to a person. In the 25% realm, it was always a benefit to put two people together and witness them so they could work it out. More often than not, is was acknowledged as petty and meaningless and just an error of communication or understanding. In almost every case I remember, it brought connection and healed separation.

I offer you this - if you've got something going on with someone and it's upsetting you - talk to that person, not about that person. Everyone else only increases separation or validates sides. Own it, be respectful, speak your truth - but talk to them, not about them.

Humbly offered, it's worked well for me this week - give thanks and praise!

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In the Garden, or Rotting on the Compost Pile - Both Serve!

22/5/2012

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Hmm, found myself experiencing some frustration, and my inclination was that I had to 'school' all of these folks that weren't getting it, and that I'd have to move more aggressively to get what I needed...

Then, I read a couple posts by folks who seemed to be experiencing the same vibe, but in my reading, they were trying to justify that - to "make" it better - and ultimately, to work blame and fault into the conversation. I give them thanks and praise, for in those mirrors, I found my folly.

Energy, momentum, passion, desire - great and respectable traits, some folks would love to have more of those skills. Some of us come packed to the hilt with them! Add some Pitta, a Jyotisha with lots of Leo, Mars and Surya, and we're locked and loaded and waiting for someone to get in our way, or hold us back.

But hold on yogi - the soft always overcomes the hard - patience and time are the only warriors, and it's the discernment of releasing the attachment and accepting the process. I think a lot of it was compounded by the energetics of the Eclipse; it was time for that which was sown that didn't come to fruition to be released. But not wasted - in my garden when it doesn't grow or fruit, we pull it up by the roots. But, it doesn't go in the garbage, it goes in the compost! And, even in it's non-bearing, even it it's frustrating 'refusal to do what we want', it  may still serve. It may become fertile soil for the future.

So, not to just write it off, but to put it in the place it does the best. And, if you've been working that and living that, you've got the lovely and fertile pile of 'that which wasn't' to create 'that which may be'.

That's what I'm working on - letting go, but not giving it away. Keeping it, but putting it 'out back' until I need it. And, then, appreciating the process, and the virtuous circle and the cyclical nature of our world, our work, our lives.

What have you planted that didn't grow? What's your relationship with that now? Can you change it and let it rot, so it can be fertile soil? Can you accept that some crops are only grown to be plowed back under so the next crop can flourish?

Nature, nothing is wasted, no effort on the path is wasted. The only waste we make is when we lose the lesson, let go of the effort, or try to push nature. We can co-create, but we have to do it on her rhythm...

How's that working for you?? I'm doing the work, some days it is obvious, some days it's all weeds and thorns. But, it's growing and I'm cultivating my patience. That's all I can do as I  dance with the world and watch her lead me where I go.

And today, especially, I give thanks and praise!

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If You Are Not Dead, Why Worry - If You Are Dead, You Can't Worry...

21/5/2012

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Just a quick little post, and not to be morbid, but I came across this interesting proposition this morning, and I felt moved to share.

I'm a fan of talking about death, not hiding from it. Not seeking it!! But, not avoiding it. It's the deal for getting a Life, and it provides meaning. Life gets much more important when we witness and experience the death of  a loved one. It's a tough lesson, but it's one that every human being should be learning.

Unfortunately in our culture, we've done everything possible to avoid death, to escape it, to sanitize it and to ignore it. The way we 'extend' the life (suffering) of those whose bodies have run their course, the way we selfishly hold onto those who should be allowed to transition, that is troublesome, and 'unnatural'.

So, here is the proposition: 
If death is bad for me, when exactly is it bad for me? Not now, for right now as I propose and ponder, I'm not dead. What about when I'm dead? But then, I won't exist and I won't be able to have a 'feeling' or a 'position'. 

As the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus wrote: "So death, the most terrifying of ills, is nothing to us, since so long as we exist, death is not with us; but when death comes, then we do not exist. It does not then concern either the living or the dead, since for the former it is not, and the latter are no more." 

I take this to purport that if death has no time at which it's bad for me, then maybe it's not bad for me. And, if it isn't bad for me, maybe it's just a good thing.

Savasana, it's practice for death... how privileged we are to have a practice that addresses every part of our existence, even the cessation.

If you're reading this, it's not your time yet! So, give thanks and praise!!



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John Friend - The Real Housewife of Anusara....

20/5/2012

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It is truly not my intention to be cruel, but this insanity that keeps rolling out of the Anusara World Hindquarters is just as baffling, troublesome and disturbing as can be!

I'm honestly so bemused that I've become amused; akin to the Real Housewives of Anywhere, if you can disassociate from the actuality that these are real people, acting like this and playing out their trauma and idiocy for all the world on their stage... well, I mean, if you can, it's actually hysterical entertainment.

Let me be clear. Those women on Housewives are clearly acting out their drama, increasing it, referencing it and isolating themselves from reality or any kind of input that might topple their dysfunctional world. That's why I make the comparison. It's not a 'one-for-one', but I do find it just as pathetic on examination, or just as entertaining to a dulled or disengaged mind. And, I really don't ever interact or find myself in social settings with those kind of foks; I would say that's a fairly 'active' choice I make. If you don't share the values, you don't share space.

Check here for the latest communication from the Leadership committee and John's current internal enabler in his continued puppet regime. By the clear statements of members in the community who I trust to know, this guy's 'sabbatical and therapy' included hanging out at the beach with his girlfriend, and hasn't yielded any statement or conclusion from John that there is anything wrong, except this pesky business where he would like y'all to help appoint his chosen Ethics committee, so the can talk Shri and Metta and finally say, 'hey, it's ok, John's sorry' and have him just come back.

Remember bailing out the banks, then being righteously indignant that they all took bonuses and went to paid retreats and got massages. Just saying' (oh, and i've been told lately that "just saying" is a passive aggressive "I'm being an asshole here" statement, and I will not argue that in this case).

I suggest he's a really poor Leader or Teacher - not of asana, and maybe not of some quasi-version of D Brook's philosophy, but as a role model or leader or 'teacher', his choices, his answers and his actions are all so suspect. 

The only remorse that we see from JF, from the outside looking in, is that this whole thing is holding him back from just doing what he wants, and he'll bide his time, because clearly he's got a deluded cadre who mean nothing more than to re-instate him right into the same business that he failed, both ethically and I'd say (as someone who ran a Fortune 500 business unit) in any manner of good business sense or brand management.

Folks - get it - John is the brand; not you!! And, he's showing exactly what he thinks of all of you who have paid him fees, spread his message and supported and enabled his poor choices.

If this recent round of communications isn't enough to cause serious introspection and discernment, then I might suggest you have failed yourselves, and your teachings.

It's really just so sad, and pathetic and isn't serving any community - Anusara, Yoga or Business.

John, it's time to move on... Teachers, it's time to move on. Does it suck you invested years and dollars into a structure that is now tainted by JF - sure. Life is like that. Stay in it and be identified by it, or move on.

Remember, it's Yoga - you don't need John's permission, credentials, words or brand to teach it. Take the greatest leap of your career and find your own voice, but first, find your own ethics! Your highest and best is to become the Teacher you can be, not the Teacher JF wants (and apparently needs) you to be.

It's right there in front of you - drop the brand, stop paying someone to act un-ethically, teach the yoga and move on. Endless compassion is co-dependent enabling.

Give thanks and praise for asana practice, and use it to discern what is best.


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    Chrispy - Bhagat Singh

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