Then, I read a couple posts by folks who seemed to be experiencing the same vibe, but in my reading, they were trying to justify that - to "make" it better - and ultimately, to work blame and fault into the conversation. I give them thanks and praise, for in those mirrors, I found my folly.
Energy, momentum, passion, desire - great and respectable traits, some folks would love to have more of those skills. Some of us come packed to the hilt with them! Add some Pitta, a Jyotisha with lots of Leo, Mars and Surya, and we're locked and loaded and waiting for someone to get in our way, or hold us back.
But hold on yogi - the soft always overcomes the hard - patience and time are the only warriors, and it's the discernment of releasing the attachment and accepting the process. I think a lot of it was compounded by the energetics of the Eclipse; it was time for that which was sown that didn't come to fruition to be released. But not wasted - in my garden when it doesn't grow or fruit, we pull it up by the roots. But, it doesn't go in the garbage, it goes in the compost! And, even in it's non-bearing, even it it's frustrating 'refusal to do what we want', it may still serve. It may become fertile soil for the future.
So, not to just write it off, but to put it in the place it does the best. And, if you've been working that and living that, you've got the lovely and fertile pile of 'that which wasn't' to create 'that which may be'.
That's what I'm working on - letting go, but not giving it away. Keeping it, but putting it 'out back' until I need it. And, then, appreciating the process, and the virtuous circle and the cyclical nature of our world, our work, our lives.
What have you planted that didn't grow? What's your relationship with that now? Can you change it and let it rot, so it can be fertile soil? Can you accept that some crops are only grown to be plowed back under so the next crop can flourish?
Nature, nothing is wasted, no effort on the path is wasted. The only waste we make is when we lose the lesson, let go of the effort, or try to push nature. We can co-create, but we have to do it on her rhythm...
How's that working for you?? I'm doing the work, some days it is obvious, some days it's all weeds and thorns. But, it's growing and I'm cultivating my patience. That's all I can do as I dance with the world and watch her lead me where I go.
And today, especially, I give thanks and praise!