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How This Stubborn Man Became a Yogi - My Story from My Perspective, Part 1

13/6/2013

6 Comments

 
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Because of her, the love of my life - because of rash promises made in love and endured in time...

Simply, I asked to be 'left alone to my career' in my 30s, and at one point made the promise (just like the Stones and the Who - you never believe it's coming) that when I turned 40, I'd devote myself to my physical health...

Then, eight years later, I am still very much in love with this woman, and I turn 40... thus begins the story.


I came to yoga with no prior physical discipline or body-awareness. I never played sports; never used my physical body in recreation. I just mainly saw my physical self as a vehicle to move my thoughts about in.

I was lucky, a life of no serious injuries or disease. Working, even though high-stress at times, in an environment that encouraged health and well-being, coupled with a great diet and other positive health choices didn’t leave me in bad shape. Really, just in no shape – just a being that was fairly disconnected from activity other than mental.

At forty, I decided it was time to honor my promise, pony-up and pursue some physical activity. I went to the gym a few times, but frankly the atmosphere and weirdness of the aggression being used to create strength felt unhealthier to me than the workout was worth. Luckily, I have that loving wife who although firm in her desire for me to get some activity, also understood my world.

And it’s to her that still the thanks go – she had asked me to get physical and work on my overall health in my forties back while I was in my thirties. Now, I had retired, had all this free time and was definitely not feeling stressed. So, one day, purely out of guilt – she was working at home 40+ hours a week, walking our two huge dogs in the snow and still going to yoga classes while I sat around and read or futzed – I went to yoga with her. And I hated it.

Let me be really clear, you didn't misread, I didn't mistype... I hated it. Full on visceral dislike. Projection, rage, contempt, those were some of the flavors.

I was uncomfortable, I was in an unfamiliar place, I was being asked to do things I didn’t understand, or couldn’t do. My wrists hurt – the Teacher wanted us to do yoga pushups and I recalled that, in my obstinacy, I almost didn’t graduate high school because I refused to do 10 pushups. You could color me triggered.

Yet, I had also had a great career, where I was highly esteemed and regarded. In that career, I consistently chose the tougher path, the not-so-easy route. I did what others wouldn’t. I was legendary, and rewarded in multiple ways, for going where others wouldn't, for doing the tough work. So, I knew I had this mental challenge under control, but I didn’t know what to do with the sensations and emotions my body was giving me.

When I’m confronted with a lot of information, sensation or resistance, I choose persistence. So, in my newly established practice, I went, again and again, just to see what it was that was happening – mentally, not physically. And, the physical came; as I became more conscious of the vehicle my mind resides in, I got more and more into exploring the physical realm.

Yes, Down Dog was killing my wrists; I literally couldn’t stay more than three frustrated breaths in the first weeks. I did all those things I see now; I still feel it as teacher – students making fists or being on fingertips, or searching for anyway out of the sensation of building bone density.

And, as I was discovering my body, I was become really aware of how the sensations, breath and thoughts were coterminous... so completely insinuated. 


I was in my body, but occupied in my mind, hearing more canonical views of many of the perspectives and disciplines I had seen in my work and professional life, I found more of me on the mat.

Let me tell you more of that story in the next post…

Give thanks and praise!

6 Comments
Jack
13/6/2013 01:11:14 pm

Oh this is going to be great! You have mentioned the start of your journey over the years in class, little snippets here and there, most understood, but some not digested due to the pool of sweat on my mat and concentration.Write part II and III. Have a great summer, interested in your fall teacher training.

Reply
chrispy bhagat singh
13/6/2013 10:05:26 pm

thanks, Jack!!
great to connect last week - thanks for being a reader and supporter; keep watching for the rest of the story!

Reply
Chris Athanas
14/6/2013 01:37:34 am

I have had the same experience, I started going to yoga with my first wife to her prenatal yoga classes. I actually loved it at first, because the teacher said doing only sarvasana was a valid practice. At the time I was working eighty hour weeks in my software business... So the hour nap was a welcome break... Eventually I tried the basics, and could barely do child's pose without pain... Touching toes was a distant dream... That was fifteen years ago and how things have changed! Thanks Chris!

Reply
Ruben Bustillos
14/6/2016 08:11:41 am

Subscribed!

Reply
Karen Carriker
14/6/2016 09:10:06 am

I love reading about your journey! Cannot wait for the next post! Thank you so much for sharing. I had assumed you were always a yogi. Shame on me for jumping to conclusions.

Reply
Kim Batiz link
14/6/2016 10:09:31 am

I remember finding your classes in my 30's and enjoying your skill in guiding fluid body movement and your ability to confidently provide imagery to accompany the experience. Without knowing what the future had in store for me and my practice, I relished in handing over the reigns and trusting what you had to share with me. Your teaching style still pours out of my heart to this day as I share yoga with my students. Namaste bright light!

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