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What Must Be Said??

14/12/2012

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I was planning on wrapping up my 12 Steps to Happiness today, but events make that seem inappropriate. Thus, I'll offer this brief piece, for your consideration.

Times such as these remind us of the randomness of circumstance, the swift and fleeting nature of our relationships, of our connections, and of our ability to love, be loved and show love. I've seen many postings today, from sweet suggestions to outright admonishments... all of them share an idea.

Tell folks you love that you love them. Let them know it, let them hear it. Just say it when you feel it, say it until you are stupid with it, never regret saying it and never leave a loved one without acknowledging that bond. It's simple, and today it seems like a great idea.

Don't wait for tragedy to say it, to feel it and to remember it. We know not what will happen, we are not in control - I mean, really, we are so pitifully out of control and create so many artifices that give us false evidence of power, influence and security - yet they are just that, artifice.

Today, say what must be said, and then say it again, and again and again. And, do it tomorrow and for all tomorrows. Say what you are not saying - have the conversation with the other, not in your head - don't assume 'they know I love them' but drill it into them via sweet repetition. And, when we really think about what we aren't saying, it comes down to four simple statements.


"I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you."
This simple set of declarative statements, or mantras - whichever resonates for you - is what is known as the Ho'oponopono. It's available, it's comprehensive, it's something to be done personally as a meditation or mindfulness practice, but it also serves as a template for reconciliation.

Look to it - are there conversations you should be having, finishing, cleaning up, or clarifying? Are there folks in your life who need to hear what hasn't been said - and wouldn't you be served by letting it out in words and with compassion, both for yourself and for all others?

Repeat it a few times internally... then, in a quiet place, speak one of the statements aloud - feel how it resonates, listen to what it stirs up, observe how you feel. I know that when I simple think of a person I'm in relationship with, whether positively or at odds, and I simply begin by saying one of those lines, the rest of what I need to say flows effortlessly.

Please, take a moment, stop and contemplate, then reach out and connect. Say what you would want to hear, say what folks need to hear. Speak your truth, with kindness, empathy and compassion. Forgive yourself and others, move towards love and thanks.


And, give thanks and praise! The world is random and cruel, it is our application of grace that makes all things better. Be well.

Finally, "I'm sorry - please forgive me. Thank you - I love you."

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